


Not Just A Quiet Little Mountain Town (South Park x Reader)

by GlassParadise



Category: South Park
Genre: Angst, Based of South Park episodes, Fluff, Other, Pining, Plantonic Relationships, Reader is mute, Romance, Sad themes, Swearing, Violence, mature themes, oneshots, unrequieted love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-15
Updated: 2018-01-15
Packaged: 2019-03-04 19:19:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 21,496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13371423
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GlassParadise/pseuds/GlassParadise
Summary: "Are you ever gonna talk?""...""Well played, stank"||Oneshots based of South Park episodes - with you in it||





	1. Introduction

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These are a series of Oneshots, meaning the episodes aren't in their proper order.

Your (e/c) eyes gazed outside the car window, a look of boredom evident on your face. Your mother was driving you to your new school, South Park Elementary, oh joy. You sunk onto your seat, getting even more bored from staring at the passing houses. Just as you were about to whip out your phone the car came into a surprising halt, startling you.

“Here it is,” Your mother announced, turning around to face you with a small smile but she clearly looked worried.

“You just have a nice day,” Your mother said as you got out of your seat. You nodded and closed the door shut as your mother waved to you before driving off. Your face held a frown as you gripped onto the straps of your (f/c) backpack. You had taken out your phone from your pocket to check the schedule and locker number that was emailed by the school counsellor. You checked the time to see you were going to walk in on a Math period. Lovely. You turned on your head to walk into the bright, yellow building with a sense of utter hopelessness.

You walked around the empty hallway, looking for your locker number, 102. You were stopped by a voice calling out ‘hey’. You tuned to see a ginger boy that looked older than you with many freckles on his pale face. He had a badge on him that read ‘hall monitor’. You tilted your head to the side to express confusion. He walked closer to you.

“Where's your hall pass,” he asked. You whipped out your phone to type in the answer till he stopped you.

“Your not allowed to use your phone on school grounds,” he frowned. You ignored him as you rapidly typed your answer and gave the phone to him. He read your message and nodded, handing back your phone and telling you to find your locker quickly and head to class. You waved to him as you finally found your locker. You entered your pin code and opened up the blue locker that was currently empty. You took your Math’s books from your locker and placed your bag in and closed it shut, making sure you had your phone in your pocket. You walked further in the hall, scanning each classroom to see if it was your class. You finally found it towards the end of the hall and knocked on the door. The door opened to reveal- oh good god! You quickly averted your eyes in pure disgust and shock at the inhumanly long breasts.

“Who are you?” The women asked, sounding impatient. You got out your phone, typing in that you were the new student. She looked at your warily before she sighed and stepped back, allowing you inside.

“You aren't allowed to use your phone, you can get it once class is over,” she announced. You deadpanned. Hasn't the principle or counsellor told her that you were mute and too lazy to learn sign language?

“Okay children, this is your new classmate. Tell us your name,” The women said. Oh this was going to be awkward. How were you going to tell her you can't speak since she took your phone? You gulped in the silence and decided to avert your eyes to the class. They were all staring at you. Some looked confused while others held a blank look. Your eyes first met a boy with black hair, wearing a blue and red beanie, only because he was sitting in the front row. You quietly scanned the different faces in class, you felt slightly dizzy. You gulped and looked down, playing with the sleeves of your shirt.

“Hurry up, I have a class to teach,” She snapped. You pointed to your phone as she rolled her eyes.

“Oh how mature of you. Not speaking till I give you your phone back. Maybe you want to join Craig in detention with Mr. Mackey,” She scowled. You shocked your head.

“Just tell us your name so you can sit down and not suffer a detention,” She replied. You were losing your patience too as you snatched the chalk from her hands, surprising everyone, and wrote your name onto the chalkboard. The women looked mad.

“You could have you told us your name instead of creating a scene,” She snapped. You rolled your eyes at her and faced the chalkboard again as you wrote ‘I’m mute’. The teacher looked shocked which quickly turned to a look of regret.

“Oh, I’m so sorry for overreacting,” she apologised, a look of sympathy on her face. Sympathy, the last thing you needed right now. You rolled your eyes and tossed the marker to her and looked back at the class, who suddenly looked disinterested. You mentally shrugged it off and took a seat in the second row, in between a blonde haired boy and curly blonde hair girl. Both of them didn't spare a glance to you.

“Well, hello (Y/N) and welcome to your new class. I'm Ms. Choksondik,” she introduced. You mentally laughed at her name. She went back to teaching her lesson, with you leaning on your hand and in extreme boredom. The door opened once again, catching your attention. A raven haired boy wearing a blue chullo walked in with a deadpan expression on his face. He looked cute. He sat down on a seat behind a girl with purple clothing and black hair. The girl looked pretty too.

“So how was detention, Craig?” He didn't reply to Ms. Choksondik. She just sighed and went back to teaching. Twenty minutes later the shrill sound of the bell ringing signified your time of freedom for thirty minutes before you had to head back inside. You clasped your hands together and thanked the power above. The girl next to you snickered at your reaction as she got up.

“Hey, your name is (Y/N), right? I'm Bebe. Want to hang with me and the rest of the girls at lunch?” She offered. You thought about it. You didn't want to seem like a mute loner, it only makes you fresh meat to pick on and the girl seemed nice. You nodded your head in agreement as her smile widened.

“Great!” She cheered. You held up your index finger as to signify to give you a minute and walked towards Ms. Choksondik, pointing to your phone. She hands it to you and you open up Notes and quickly typed in something and showed it to her.

“Okay, you can use it but if I find out your mom didn't agree on letting you use your phone you will have an after school detention,” She warned. You nodded and turned around to face Bebe and the black haired girl from earlier.

You typed onto your phone, ‘thanks for waiting for me’ and showed it to them. Bebe smiled and the girl nodded.

“I haven't introduced myself, I’m Wendy Testaburger,” she said, holding out her gloved hands for a hand-shake. You shook her hand but man was her grip tight.

“Come on, Red and the girls are waiting!” Bebe stated, leading you and Wendy to the cafeteria. You smiled. You knew for a fact this isn't just a quiet little mountain town.


	2. Marjorine

You smile as the rest of the girls giggle and laugh. All of you were playing with the paper fortune teller, idea suggested by Kale. All the fake answers that came up were a good chance to mock at each other's misfortune or feel prideful at their good luck.

“Okay, okay, my turn, do me now,” Bebe laughs. Kale smiles.

“Okay, Bebe. What do you want to know?” She asked.

“I want to know if I’m gonna live in a big mansion in the future!” Bebe answered.

“Okay, let's find out. Ready?” Kale asks as she takes out a paper fortune teller.

“Pick a number,” Kale instructed.

“Four,”

“One, two, three, four,” Kale counted as she flipped the fortune teller.

“Okay, pick a colour,”

“Blue,”

“B-L-U-E. Alright, pick another colour!”

“Red,” Bebe says.

“Kaaay. Okay, will Bebe live in a big mansion in the future?” Kale opens a interior flap, revealing the answer.

“Definitely yes!” Kale read out.

“Alright!” Bebe cheered.

“Whoo Hoo!”

“You rock, Bebe!” The girls cheered. Bebe turned to you, who was leaning on a pole. You gave her a thumbs up with a proud smile on your face. She grinned back.

As she turned around you felt as if all of you were being watched. You heard some rustling from a nearby bush as you rose a brow. You played it off that it could have been the breeze. You were not sure. You turned your attention back to Red, since it was her turn, forgetting about the rustling bush.

It was the end of day and you were walking home, scrolling through your phone till Heidi and Wendy rushed up to you.

“Hey, (Y/N)!” They called. You turned around waved at them.

“Are you coming to my slumber party?” Heidi asked. You nodded as Wendy grinned.

“It's going to be so much fun! Well, I have to go back home to finish my homework, see you (Y/N)!” Wendy exclaimed. You nodded and waved to her as Heidi gave a her ‘see you soon’.

“Mind if I walk with you?” Heidi asked. You shook your head as you stuffed your phone into your coat’s pocket and trudged through the snow covered pathwalk with Heidi. It was silent till she spoke up.

“So, where are you from originally?” Heidi asked. You froze right there. That was the one question you've been dreading. Heidi stopped and looked at you in confusion.

“Hey, (Y/N), are you okay?” She asked in concern. You wanted to shake your head and run away but you just meekly took out your phone and went on notes and began typing.

‘Do you promise not to tell anyone,,’ you wrote. Heidi read and promised not to tell. You bit your lip.

‘I was born in North Park’ you wrote. Heidi gasped once she read it. North Park and South Park have been enemies for centuries, they had wars that killed millions. If a North Parker even dared to step into South Park they will be harassed forever or, hell, killed! If anyone found out you and your mum are goners. You cringed at the thought of Sheila Broflovski finding out. The women started a goddamn war over a mature movie! What could she possibly do to your poor, sweet mum? Or Randy Marsh! That was equally as scary.

“That's...big news,” Heidi muttered. You gave her a pleading look.

“I promised I won't tell anyone so I won't,” she reassured. You gave her a hug as a thank you and you felt her hug back.

“I better get going now, see you tomorrow (Y/N)!” Heidi said as she walked off with you waving bye to her. You rubbed your gloved hands together to cause a friction of heat and let out a puff of air due to the cold weather and you continued your way home.

 

The next day you entered class, fifteen minutes before the bell rang and sat on your desk, deciding to doodle. Time went by quick and you finally looked at your finished piece to end up blushing because of it. You mindlessly drew your crush. Your cheeks heated up even more and you quickly stuffed it into your folder. The bell rang, and more kids rushed into class to beat the teacher entering.

Ms. Garrison entered the room.

“Okay children, let's take our seats. Now I know that we're all still in deep, deep mourning over the tragic death of our classmate, Butters,” Ms. Garrison announced with a frown as everyone settled down.

“Who's Butters?” You heard someone whisper. You were surprised. As far as you know Butters was completely fine with his life. Well, the more you know.

“But we all must try to move on. And so I'd like you to help me welcome a new student who was just moved here from Dallas. Children please say hello to...Marjorine,” Ms. Garrison said and a blonde hair girl walked in, her hair tied with green ribbons into pigtails and a green bow on the top of her hairline. She wore a light blue dress and looked hella nervous.

“Oh...thank you,” She curtsied.

“Why don't you tell the children a little bit about yourself, Marjorine?” Ms. Garrison asked.

“Well, I'm just a typical little girl. I like dancin' and ponies. A-and…” She squeezed her eyes shut.

“getting my snootch pounded on Friday night” she finished. You stare at her in surprise and a bit of disgust. Was she trying to be cocky by saying that?

“Nice,” you heard someone mutter.

“Dude, looks at (Y/N), she looks totally convinced,” Cartman whispered but it didn't reach your ears as he went into a coughing fit to cover up his trace.

“Now Marjorine, that's not very ladylike. Us Colorado girls love to get pounded in the snootch just like any woman, but we keep it to ourselves,” Ms. Garrison scolded. You saw the girl mutter an ‘oh’.

“That girl sure has a strange sense of fashion,” Bebe said and the girls staring muttering and whispering to themselves.

Cartman let out a yawn, whispering something before coughing again. You couldn't hear what he said but since it's Cartman it must be something mean directed to Marjorine or girls in general. You rolled your eyes and went back to doodling on your notebook.

“All right, have a seat, Marjorine. I'm sure all the other girls will be happy to show you around the school,” the girls seemed to glare at her. You were on the right side of the room while the girls were on the left. You felt someone nudge your shoulder and you turn to see Kyle. Currently you were sitting in between Kyle and Kevin. You looked at him, to show that he has your attention.

“So, (Y/N), what do you think of the new girl. You shrugged and ripped out a small piece of paper from your notebook and wrote,

‘She seems a bit awkward… maybe she's just nervous. I don't think the other girls like her’ Kyle read it and looked at you confused.

“What do you mean? She is a normal girl. Just like all of you,” Kyle replied. You took out another piece of paper and wrote,

‘Quote on quote, getting your snootch pounded on Friday night?’

Kyle had a light blush on his face.

“Don't you girls do that?”

You flipped the same piece of paper and wrote,

‘Hell to the no’

Kyle read it and looked troubled. He turned around to whisper something to Kenny and Kenny shrugged in reply.

“Damn it Kenny, you said they do that,” Kyle muttered, thankfully you didn't hear him.

 

Tonight was the slumber party and currently all of the girls were in the basement, including Marjorine. Heidi dragged you away personally to explain why she was here and you just shrugged. You didn't mind, maybe Marjorine can actually be cool if you get to know her. Heidi’s parents just left after explaining the rules.

“So, what do you guys wanna do first?” Heidi asked.

“We could play ‘girl talk’,” Bebe suggested as the other girls nodded and got into a circle.

“And tonight's victim is…(Y/N)!” You looked up in surprise. Oh No. Marjorine was fiddling with her thumbs as she looked slightly scared. No, it wasn't scary for her, it's scary for you.

“So, I noticed you’ve been staring at a certain guy these days, wanna tell us your crush?” Red smirked. Your jaw slightly dropped. Damn you for staring.

Meanwhile the boys had been eavesdropping and spying through the basement window.

“Guys, the girls are asking (Y/N) about her crush!” Stan said.

“Wait–so she has a crush on one of us?” Clyde responded.

“That's not important, we need to get the fortune telling device, not finding out who that mute is crushing on,” Cartman interrupted. Kyle glared.

“You don't want to know cause you know she isn't crushing on a fat tub of lard,” Kyle argued. Cartman sneered at him.

“She isn't going to be crushing on a Jew either!” Cartman spat.

“Shut up,” Craig’s nasally voice stopped the two, shoving past Cartman to hear better.

Inside the basement, the girls where either snickering or staring in anticipation. You shook your head rapidly as the girls kept pestering.

“How about we guess?” Heidi suggested. The girls nodded as you glared at them.

 

“They're gonna guess the guy,” Craig announced. The boys looked on, suddenly interested.

 

“Cartman?”

You stuck out your tongue in disgust and shook your head. Meanwhile the boys were snickering at Cartman whose face turned red in anger and embarrassment.

“Stan?”

You shook your head.

“Token?”

You shook your head.

“Clyde?”

Once again you shook your head while Clyde frowned in disappointment.

“Is it–”

“How about we read each other's futures?” Marjorine interrupted, you sending her thankful smile. You were in her debt now. The girls were too close to finding out.

“I know! Let's do ‘Light as a feather, stiff as a board’,” Wendy ignored her. All the girls agreed but you just sat on the beanbag nearby. The girls got out the candles and circled around the rug.

“Who wants to do it first?” Wendy asked.

“I will,” Red volunteered. She layed on the rug.

“Oh geez, are we gonna start lezzing out?” Marjorine said. You and the girls looked at her in astonishment before turning all of your attention to Red who was on the floor.

“Light as a feather, stiff as a board,” the girls chanted. Red was lifted but it gave the illusion that she was floating. You grinned as the girls continue to chant till Marjorine lets out a loud scream, surprising you and the girls.

“AAAAAAAH NOO! Witches! You're all witches!” Marjorine backs away. Bebe was put down as Bebe turned on the lights and Heidi faces Marjorine.

“Marjorine, what is your problem?” Heidi question, looking mad.

“Huh? Oh nothin'. Hey, you guys wanna tell each other's futures now?”

“Yeah. I can tell your future, Marjorine! You're going to live alone your entire life because you're a nerdy, dorky geek,” Red snapped. You stood up from the beanbag you were residing on, giving her a disapproving look. She ignored you.

“Yeah, and your hair is totally stupid,” Heidi joined in. You glared at her as Marjorine looked at her hair in shame.

“Yeah, and you're flat!” Bebe added. Your glared darkened, a way of saying to them to step off, none of them did.

“Marjorine, why don't you just leave? Nobody want you here!” Heidi snapped. You were about to counter but Marjorine let out a sob and rushed into the bathroom, slamming the door shut. You glared at the girls in disappointment and turned your back to them as you got out your phone and scrolled through it, letting them know you were upset.

Minutes had passed and everyone was silent at the scene that was cause.

“I think we went too far with Marjorine,” Wendy said after she came back with Bebe to check on Marjorine. You turned to her and rolled your eyes. Jeez, you think? You thought. The girls looked at you with frowns on their faces. They moved towards the bathroom and they got even more worried once they heard the sobbing and crying from inside.

“Marjorine?” Heidi called.

“Nobody like meee,” Marjorine cried.

“Aw gee, she's really upset,” Bebe said, guiltily.

“I feel terrible, you guys. It can't be easy being the new girl in school,” Wendy said as everyone agreed.

“Marjorine, Marjorine? We didn't mean it,” Heidi said.

“You don't know how hard it is to be me,” She sobbed and you felt even more terrible.

“Marjorine, we were just teasing. We think your great!” Bebe said in an attempt to cheer her up.

“You think I’m ugly–ehehee,” Marjorine whined.

“Your not ugly Marjorine,” Wendy stated.

“You said I’m ugly and flat,” Marjorine argued while sobbing.

“Marjorine, you just have a different look, that's all. We just...we need to help you bring out your inner beauty!” Heidi said.

“Yeah, how about we all give you a little makeover, Marjorine?” Wendy suggested. The girls cheered in agreement. Marjorine opened the door.

“You mean it?” She asked. You smiled as the girls nodded and started doing the makeover.

 

“Dude, it's been too long. Something's wrong…” Kyle said from his place behind a bush. Craig takes out his binoculars to take a look.

“Maybe they found him out,” Stan suggested.

“Then, he’s already dead,” Clyde stated.

“Come one, we gotta go check on him,” Stan said as he, Kyle, Cartman and Kenny moved closer to the house to look through storm cellar.

“Can you see anything?” Kyle asked.

“He’s just dancing around,” Stan answered once he saw Butters dancing with the other girls to Justin Timberlake.

“That son of a bitch!” Cartman exclaimed.

 

Heidi’s mum had went into the basement.

“Marjorine, sweetie, your mum’s on the phone,” She explained. Marjorine went upstairs as you waved at her and she waved back.

 

“Hello?” Butters asked.

“Butters! Just what the fuck do you think your doing!” Cartman questioned angrily.

“Well, I’m just having some fun with my girlfriends,” Butters answered.

“You aren't there to have fun, you black asshole! You were supposed to be getting the future-telling device!” Cartman yelled.

“Well, I’m workin’ on it,”

“Working on what! Your dance moves!” Cartman snapped.

“Now look! I'm getting pretty sick of this! Well I put myself through a lot, and you can't talk to me like that! Uh... mom,” Butters argued.

“Just do what you were sent to do, dickface!” Cartman cussed as he hung up.

 

Marjorine goes back downstairs, to see the girls waiting.

“Hey, Marjorine, you wanna know your future?” Red asked.

“Ah, uhh, could I hold that?” Marjorine asked.

“Sure,” Heidi says, handing Marjorine the paper fortune teller.

“Here, you could tell me future.”

“How?” Marjorine asked, fascinated. That earned him a confused look from you.

“Well, uh, you know, it's easy. You just put your thumbs and index finger in here…” Heidi instructed, positioning Marjorine’s fingers.

 

Craig was still keeping an eye out through his binoculars till he saw Heidi’s dad staring at him through his binoculars. Craig lowers his, knowing he was spotted.

 

“Aha! I knew it! Boys in the slumber party!” You and the girls heard Mr. Turner exclaim from upstairs. Marjorine gasps.

“There's a boy here?” Heidi asked in confusion. Marjorine backs away toward the stairs, pointing the paper fortune teller at the confused girls.

“Stand back! I had a...great time tonight, but I gotta do what I was sent here to do!” Marjorine exclaims as she ran upstairs, confusing you even more.

 

Meanwhile, Craig saw Butters run outside the house, the device in his hands.

“He got it! He got the device!” Craig exclaimed as the boys surround Butters.

“Tango tango tango! We've got it! Let's get it to the containment center! Go!” Cartman yelled. Clyde gets the device and runs off.

“Come on, Butters!” Stan says.

“No! That darn device is nothin' but trouble! Ah, I'm done, and I'm goin' home to tell my Mom and Dad I'm not dead!” Butters argued, wiping off his makeup and taking off his wig before running off. The rest of the boys run away, Cartman being last. Heidi opens the door, standing in the doorway with her parents and friends.

“What the hell,” she says. You agree with her mentally.

“Haahahaha, we have the device now! The power belongs to us!” Cartman explains as he catches up with the rest of the boys.

 

“Anybody have a piece of notebook paper so I can make another one?” Heidi asks.

 

The next day you arrived to school, fifteen minutes before class starts as usual. You take a seat next to Kenny and turn to him, handing him a piece of paper that read,

‘What the fuck was that?’


	3. Stupid Spoiled Whore Video Playset

You and Wendy were dragged to the mall by Bebe. You didn't want to leave since you were having fun searching up cringe on the internet and laughing at it, it was your favourite past time. Very sad, yes you knew. You had one hand stuffed into your hoodie while the other hand was being held by Bebe to hurry your lazy ass up. You held a bored expression on your face as Wendy slightly chuckled. You had entered the mall which was filled with people surrounding a stage, Paris written on it. Who's Paris?

“Come on, (Y/N) and Wendy! We're gonna miss it!” Bebe ushered, making he way to the front with Wendy and you in tow.

“We’re gonna miss what?” Wendy asked, curious.

“Paris Hilton is making an appearance at the mall!” Bebe exclaimed.

“Who's Paris Hilton,” Wendy asked, you nodded agreeing with her.

“Who's Paris Hilton!” Red mimicked in shock at Wendy and you not knowing who Paris Hilton is.

“You don't know?” Annie asked. Before Wendy can answer the announcer arrives on stage, holding a microphone.

“Hello, everyone! The Guess Clothing Company is pleased to have as its new spokesperson model, a woman all you young ones can look up to, Ms. Paris Hilton!” The announcer said as a women with bright blonde hair walked on stage, wearing revealing clothes. Oh god not these type of celebrities. Shit, what has Bebe dragged you into? Flashes of cameras went off as girls screamed and squealed. You thought you might go deaf too. She then lifts up her bra and shows off her breast. You quickly looked away and scowled. Where has all the modesty in some people gone?

“Wow, that's really her! Paris! Over here!” Bebe exclaimed. You glared at her but she didn't noticed you but Wendy did. Wendy silently agreed with you.

“I don't get it. What does she do?” Wendy questioned in confusion.

“She's super rich!” Annie answered.

“But what does she do,” Wendy rephrased. 

“She's totally spoiled and snobby,” Red said. You rolled your eyes, jeez as if you couldn't tell.

“What does she do!” Wendy yelled, annoyed.

“She's a whore,” a man behind all of you stated, taking a few pictures. You looked back onto the stage and noticed her left eyelid hand heavy. Weird.

“Hey everyone. Sorry if I'm a little spent. I did a whole lot of partying last night with a LOT of different guys,” Paris said before coughing out semen onto her left fist. You grimaced. Is this your punishment for your sins?

“Anyway, I'm pleased to be here in Gouth Dark to announce the opening of my brand new store! A store where girls can buy everything they need to be just like me! Stupid Spoiled Whore!” The red curtain behind the stage dropped to reveal the store. Oh no. The crowd cheered loudly. 

“Have fun, girls. And remember to party, and be super-lame to everybody. G'Bye!” Paris left the stage and towards her assistant. The girls rushed into the store except for you and Wendy who followed slowly behind.

“This is ridiculous,” Wendy whispered to you and you nodded. Bebe leads you, Red, Annie and Wendy around. Wendy and you looked stunned and disgusted.

“Wow, look at all this great stuff. Stupid Spoiled Whore clothes, Stupid Spoiled Whore dolls!” Bebe exclaimed. Red walked over to a display case.

“Hey, check it out: the new Paris Hilton perfume, Skanque!” Red said, holding up a heart-shaped bottle.

“Skanque,” the announcer from before corrected. Annie trotted over, carrying some clothes.

“Oh yeah, let's get lots of that!” Annie stated in glee.

“You guys, don't buy this stuff! Why do you want to be like Paris Hilton?” Wendy questioned as you nodded.

“It's not just Paris: Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, Tara Reid, they're all stupid spoiled whores!” Red explained.

“But the idea that we'll be whorish for money is belittling to our gender!” Wendy argued, her feminist side kicking in. Bebe walked over, holding two arm loads of clothes.

“Wendy, get a clue. The only thing more important than being rich is being famous!” The curly blonde said.

“Wow, you really sound like a dumb brat, Bebe,” Annie ‘complimented’.

“Thanks, Annie!” Bebe answered as she, Red and Annie walked away, leaving Wendy stunned and you glaring at their figures. You got out your phone.

‘Let's just leave, this store is hurting my eyes’ you typed and showed to Wendy. She simply nodded as both of you walked out.

‘What now?’ You typed. Wendy looked thoughtful for a second.

“Let's hang out with Jessie and Kal,” Wendy suggested and you nodded, walking to Jessie’s house.

 

You and Wendy entered their house, seeing the two girls doing nothing while sitting on the dining table.

“Hey Jessie, Hey Kal. Do you guys mind if we hang out with you? The other girls are acting really strange,” Wendy explained.

“Sure, Wendy and (Y/N)! We were just trying to think of something to do,” Jessie said.

“Oh, well, you wanna maybe go to the art museum?” Wendy asked.

“Nah, that sounds really dull,” Jessie declined. Wendy looked a bit offended but didn't say anything.

“Hey, I know! Let's make a videotape of us having sex with boys!” Kal exclaimed, Jessie agreeing. Your jaw dropped as Wendy looked stunned.

“What!” Wendy yelled.

“I just got the Stupid Spoiled Whore video playset!” Kal stated, bringing out a box. On the box it said, ‘makes you a whore and so much more!’.

“You can make videos that get out on the Internet!” Kal stated.

“Yeah!” Jessie said. You and Wendy looked at each other with a stunned expression on your faces.

 

You and Wendy left the house after the horrendous stunt.

“I can't believe it!” Wendy exclaimed. You nodded.

“How are all these young girls so attracted to sex and being a whore!” Wendy ranted. You nodded.

“You know what? I'm going to tell my parents about it so other parents are aware of what their children are doing!” Wendy stated. You smiled, giving a thumbs up to encourage her. You and Wendy gave each other your farewells and departed ways.

 

The bell rings as kids clear the hall, going to their lockers. You walked into the building. You came late since you had an appointment. You looked for Wendy till you spotted your friends near Cartman’s locker, said boy looking like he was eavesdropping. You stared in shock as you saw Wendy talking to them. She wasn't wearing her usual outfit but instead wearing blue jeans and turquoise tank with on strap. The girls, except for Wendy, seem to laugh so you decided to eavesdrop with Cartman. He looked at you suspiciously but didn't say anything. Shocker.

“Right. Please, Wendy, you're like Class President and stuff!” You heard Annie say.

“Yeah, and you get straight A's in school!” Red stated.

“You're not even spoiled, because your parents give money to charity!” Bebe said. What is this all about?

“You don't want to go to this party, Wendy! We're inviting all the boys, and we're gonna play Spin the Bottle, and Two Minutes In The Closet, and do ketamine,” Red exclaimed. What the fiddling fuck?

“That's okay,” Wendy assured.

“Oh, please, do you even know what ketamine is?” Annie said sassily.

“Yes,” Wendy answered.

“See? You are too smart,” Annie argued.

“Yeah. We have no idea what ketamine is,” Red said. You rolled your eyes. Stay classy, Red.

“Sorry Wendy. You're just not a whore. Get lost!” Bebe said.

“Yeah!” The girls agreed. Wendy walked off sadly as the other girls laugh. You were about to go after Wendy till you froze in realisation. She was about to ditch you and become a whore. Oh, that motherfucker. You expression hardened as you turned on your heel and walked away, distantly hearing the girls ask different boys to come to their party while making disturbing comments.

 

You took a deep breath before walking towards the joined boys table consisting of Stan’s team and Craig’s team. The table quieted down as they saw you coming. Some shoved each other and sending confused faces. You got out your phone and typed nervously.

‘Can I sit here?’ You handed the phone to the nearest person to you, which was Craig. He read the message before passing your phone to the next person which was Kyle. Kyle passed it to Stan who just shrugged and said sure before handing you your phone back. You smiled at him in appreciation before taking a empty seat next to Craig.

“Why is a girl sitting here, much less a mute!” Cartman whined. You shifted uncomfortably. You weren't use to Cartman’s comments so you were a bit hurt.

“Shut up, Cartman, she can sit,” Stan said to him. Cartman grumbled before shutting up. It was an awkward silence.

“So, (Y/N), why aren't you with the other girls?” Token asked, breaking the ice. You pointed your thumb to the girls who were wearing revealing clothing and giggling like hyenas. The boys table turned to the direction you pointed and grimaced.

“Oh jeez,” Token muttered.

“Where's Wendy?” Stan asked, noticing she wasn't with them. You got out your phone and started typing.

‘Left cause she wasn't whore-y enough’ Stan read out loud.

“Why do they want to be whores?” Clyde asked.

‘Because of some douchey celeb named Paris Hilton’ The boys crowded around your phone to read.

“Wow. The girls were saying pretty disgusting stuff and invited me to their party,” Kyle said.

“Us too,” the other boys said.

“Not me,” Cartman grumbled. Kyle rolled his eyes.

“What a surprise,” Kyle stated sarcastically as some people chuckled.

“Oh yeah? Well I'm surprised they invited a Jew–”

“Shut up,” Stan interrupted. Cartman glared but surprisingly kept his mouth shut. You wondered if he was sick.

‘God save you all’ I typed.

“Very supportive, (Y/N),” Kyle said. You just shrugged.

 

“So...you don't wanna be a whore and hang with them?” Craig asked. You shook your head rapidly.

‘God, hell no!’ Stan chuckled lightly at your message. You truly felt sorry for the guys, even if some of them used to be assholes to you or still are, ahem Cartman. An idea popped into your head and began typing your idea for the boys to read.

 

“You don't have to do this,” Kyle told you. You and Kyle walked towards Bebe’s house together.

‘But I want to’ you typed. You were lying. You didn't want to go but you had some pity and decided to suffer with the boys. You dressed up as a boy so they think you were just some guy who Kyle invited to tag along. Kyle smiled at you.

“Your really kind, you know?” Kyle complimented. You blushed but smiled.

“Your also different, like a good different! You always tell the girls to stop if they go too far and you aren't immature,” Kyle continued, your blush darkening with each compliment.

“(Y/N), what I’m trying to say is that–” you both froze once you heard the loud music coming from Bebe’s house. You both had arrived.

“I– nevermind,” Kyle sighed, leaving you curious. He went up and knocked, revealing Bebe still wearing the same whore outfit.

“Oh hey, Kyle~” Bebe greeted, seductively. She saw you next to him.

“And who is he~?” Bebe asked, sending you a wink as you mentally grimaced.

“This is (Y/M/N) [Your male name],” Kyle lied.

“Well come in, enjoy and have fun~” Bebe sent one last wink, before going back to greet the next guest. You and Kyle looked around and saw Clyde come out of the closet with Bab in tow. Clyde was rubbing his butt and crying.

“Aaaaah, owieeee, owieeee,” Clyde cried. You sent him a sympathetic look. Poor guy.

“Let's go before you and I are the next prey,” Kyle whispered before dragging you away from the scene.

“This is fucked up,” Kyle commented, gazing around the room and the disturbed boys. Before you can agree a random girls swooped in and dragged Kyle away, Kyle trying to resist. You felt a unfamiliar emotion in you. Anger? Sadness? You couldn't tell but you felt horrible. You looked to see all the guys being chased by girls. You scowled. The girls have taken it too far this time, you thought, making up your decision. The door was suddenly kicked open, revealing Mr. Slave, Wendy and Cartman.

“Oh Jesus!” Mr. Slave exclaimed, turning on the lights.

“Ew, party foul!” Annie shouted.

“Shut off the light!” Red whined.

“Oh, thank god,” Stan said in relief.

“Girls, what on earth are you doing?” Mr. Slave questioned.

“We're being stupid, spoiled whores!” Bebe grinned, earning an eye roll from you.

“H-help! You've gotta hide me!” Butters rushed in, hiding in a closet.

“Don't tell her I’m in here!” Butters pleaded, closing the door. Wait, what the fuck? Nobody paid attention.

“What did you do, Wendy?! Go rat on us because you're not invited to our Paris Hilton party!” Bebe yelled, angered.

“Okay, I think this has all gone far enough! Now look, the last person you want to be like is Paris Hilton!” Mr. Slave said. As soon as that was said, Paris Hilton entered.

“Mr. Biggles?” She called. Mr. Slave must have not noticed because he continued.

“Paris Hilton is a nobody! She may have money, but she's a thoughtless, talentless lowlife!” Mr. Slave ranted.

“Who the fuck are you calling a lowlife!” Paris yelled.

“Wow, Paris Hilton is at my party! I rule!” Bebe said. Please just shut up, Bebe, you thought.

“HAAAAH!” Butters bolted out of the closet. Bab looks out from the closet, grinning.

“Hon, will you just tell these girls that being a whore isn't such a great thing,” Mr. Slave said.

“What isn't great about it? What's more to life than partying?” Paris said.

“Look girls, I've partied a lot. Okay? And I'm telling you, there's more to life,” Mr. Slave explained.

“You don't even know what partying is, loser,” Paris brushes him off.

“Sweetie, really, don't go there, okay?” Mr. Slave warned.

“Oh I went there. I went there, took some pictures, and flew back already,” Paris snapped as the girls ‘ohhed’.

“What a bitch!” Annie says, smiling. You were getting sick of this. You pushed past everyone and walked outside, catching Slave’s attention.

“(Y/N)?” Kyle and Stan called out but you were already out the door. Too late to hear someone declare ‘Whore-Off!’

 

The next day the girl were back to being themselves. Bebe and Red tried to get your attention but you ignored them. The boys didn't say anything to you but one was staring at you during class. You walked out once the bell rang, the girls calling out to you. Wendy was with them.

“What's wrong?” Bebe asked. Your hands formed into a fist but you counted to ten mentally and calmly got out your phone, typing the answer.

‘I’m tired of your shit. I want to hang out with others’ Bebe showed the message to the other girls. Some glared at you after they were done but some looked concerned. Bebe looked like she was trying not to get mad but she realised something. This was your decision. Bebe sighed.

“If you insist, (L/N),” Bebe answered sadly, Wendy looked worried while standing alongside her. You nodded stoically and turned around, heading to the boys table. You can hear Red distantly argue with Bebe. You walked over to the table, giving them a wave. They turned their attention to you, staring at each other till Kenny scooted over, allowing you to sit. You sat next to the parka wearing boy, taking a bite from your sandwich.

“What happened?” Stan asked suddenly. You got out your phone, typing with one hand and handing to it Stan. He read it out loud to the table and then nodded.

“You can hang out, you seem cool,” Stan said, looking over to Craig as he nodded. You smiled in appreciation. Kenny said something but it came out muffled but Stan, who was sitting next to him, cringed.

“No, dude, that's gross,” Stan said and went back to munching on his burger as the group went back to chatting, you joining in. Now you wondered what Kenny had possibly said.


	4. Skate Fast Eat Ass

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a filter chapter. This is not from a episode. Set at a random period of time.

Stan Marsh ate with his family on the dining table. It was unusually quiet, the only sound being occasional slurping.

“Stan, after dinner Kyle and Ms. Broflovski are going to visit,” Sharon informed her son, breaking the ice. Stan shrugged in reply, going back to eating his dinner.

“Yup, He told us in me, (Y/N) and his group chat,” Stan said mindlessly.

Sharon froze.

“Who is (Y/N)?” She asked. Randy looked at his son, also curious to know meanwhile Shelly didn't give a shit.

“She's the new kid,” Stan explained. Sharon rose a brow.

“We usually get news about new people quickly,” Randy stated.

“Yeah, that's the surprising part,” Stan muttered.

“Well, if they're new we should visit them, have you talked to (Y/N) before?”

“Yeah, mom, she hangs out with us,” Stan replied.

“You let a girl into your group,” Randy questioned. Sharon glared at him, giving him a shove.

“Well, that's nice, Stan,” Sharon smiled.

“Do you know where they live,” Sharon asked.

“Yeah, she lives, like, a block away,” Stan answered.

“I will ask them to come over while Kyle and Sheila are here,” Sharon said. She asked her son for their phone number before dialling the number as Sharon exited the room. Stan had finished so he got up and placed his dirty plates in the sink. As soon as he was done, Sharon walked into the room.

“Well, (Y/N) is coming over but her mother can't since she has to finish some paperwork for her company,” Sharon said. The doorbell rang, signaling the guests had arrived. Stan opened the door to reveal Sheila Broflovski and her son.

“Oh, hello Stanley!” Sheila greeted. Stan shook her hand and let the two in.

“Hey,” Kyle greeted. Stan greeted him back.

“Dude, (Y/N) is coming over,” Stan told his close friend.

“Sweet, dude,” Kyle answered. The two can hear rapid chatting from their mothers in the living room.

“Wanna go upstairs or wait for (Y/N)?” Stan asked. Kyle shrugged.

“We can wait,” he answered. The two started a conversation over the latest video game they both purchased, revealing tricks for each level till the bell rang. Stan opened the door showing you wearing a fluffy (f/c) jacket, ear muffs, a scarf covering your mouth and neck, gloves and boots.

“Hey, dude,” Stan greeted. (Y/N) waved.

“Hi,” Kyle said, sticking out his hand for a handshake which (Y/N) returned. Their touch lingered for a bit till they snapped out of it and turned to Stan.

“You can take of your scarf and boots, (Y/N),” Stan said as you did so. Stan and Kyle led you to the living room, revealing two women, one a redhead who was chubby and one with light brown hair and brown eyes.

“Hello, Stanley, is this your friend?” Sharon asked, sending a smile to the (h/c) girl who smiled broadly. You walked over to the two women, shaking their hands.

“Aw, she looks adorable, bubbe,” Sheila commented. You grinned at her as a ‘thanks’.

“Well, you three can go play upstairs. If you need a snack just let me know,” Sharon said. The three nodded before going upstairs towards Stan’s room. Stan sat on his bed, his back to the headboard as Kyle sat next to you, leaning against the bed.

“So what do you wanna do?” Stan asked. You shrugged as Kyle looked thoughtful.

“Wanna play a prank?” Kyle suggested. You and Stan straightened up, indicating that both of you were interested.

“Who?” Stan asked as Kyle had a smile on his face.

“Cartman.”

 

You and Stan stood underneath Cartman’s window as Kyle pick locked Cartman's window.

“This is going to be hilarious but a disaster,” Stan said from next to you. You nodded. It was Cartman, god knows what his reaction will be. He was spontaneous. You and Stan saw Kyle get out from the window and quietly sneak down.

“Can't wait to see his reaction tomorrow,” Stan said. You nodded and Kyle smiled too.

“Well, I’m gonna go home. My mom will get mad if I stay longer,” Stan said. You and Kyle bid him farewell as he went away.

“So, are you going home too?” Kyle asked. You nodded. Kyle opened his mouth to say something before he kept his mouth closed. This was your chance. You quickly enveloped the unsuspecting red head to a hug, before waving bye to him before he can say anything else.

 

“Oh my fucking god! My mouth,” Cartman snapped, spitting out the treat he was eating. You, Kyle and Stan shared look as Kenny let out a muffled laugh. Cartman hunched over, racing to the boys bathroom. Butters stared at his retreating figure.

“Is he gonna be okay?” He asked in concern.

“Hopefully not,” Craig replied, munching on his apple.

“What did you guys do?” Clyde asked.

“Mayonnaise and donuts aren't a good combo,” Kyle answered.

“Well fuck…”


	5. Elementary School Musical

You and boys were sitting together during lunch. You’ve grown closer and closer to the boys over all the time you all spent together. Of course, Cartman wasn't still used to a girl hanging with them so he tried to rip on you as much as he can.

“Hahahahaha, look at Kenny's lunch, a baloney sandwich and water! Hahaha, Goddamn your family's poor, dude,” Cartman laughed. Indeed Kenny had a plain bologna sandwich and a glass of water. Kenny glared at him through his parka.

“Hey, you fellas wanna go see High School Musical 3 tonight? Bunch of kids from school are gonna see it again,” Butters asked.

“What's High School Musical 3?” Kyle asked.

“You know, the sequel to High School Musical 1 and 2,” Clyde explained.

“What's High School Musical 1 and 2?” Stan asked.

“There's not- there's not even condiments on his baloney sandwich!” Cartman was still not over this. You rolled your eyes as Kenny’s glare darkened.

“What's High School Musical 1 and... Dude, it's only the most popular thing with kids in our age group!” Jason exclaimed. You have heard of it and watched it but it wasn't that appealing to you.

“Yeah. Where the hell have you guys...been?” Jimmy said.

“Peru,” Craig answered as you grinned at him. Leave it to Craig to be a smartass.

“Everyone is special in their own way.Move to the beat and let your spirit out!” Someone sang from behind your table. You turned and saw Wendy singing with Bebe as the girls snapped their fingers.

“That's what bein' friends is about,” the girls sang. You, Butters, Kyle, Stan, Cartman, and Kenny see the girls breaking into a song. You stared at them in confusion, so did Kenny, Kyle, Stan and Cartman.

“Everyone is special in their own way, and we'll always be together as one~” the girls turned to face towards your table.

“What the hell are they doing?” Cartman asked, puzzled.

“I have no idea,” Stan said. The other boys turned on their seats to get a better view.

“As long as we stick together, together we'll stay. And every kid in school is special in their own way,” the girls continued.

“Dude, girls are such fags,” Cartman stated as you glared at him. Suddenly, Clyde, Craig, Jimmy, Token, Butters and Jason leave the table and join the girls, leaving you extremely lost.

“Oh yeah, oh yeah!” All the kids sang. Bruh, you thought.

“Boys...are special in their own way,” the boys danced.

“Girls...are special like a birthday,” the girls sang as they danced. You cringed. Maybe you should post it online. You’ll get money if you won the cringe awards.

“We'll always be dancin' and singin' aloud. Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh!” Everyone sang. Everyone except you, Kenny, Cartman, Kyle and Stan.

“Here he comes!” Heidi announced. In came Bridon Gueermo, a singing and dancing enthusiast. He danced towards the scene.

“I like havin' fun in the hot summer sun. An' groovin' to the beat when my homework is all done. If you ask me what I know, then you know what I will say? That every single body is special in their own way~” Briton sang. You blinked repeatedly, a stoic expression on your face. Really, you thought.

“Who the hell is that?” Stan asked over the loud singing.

“Why, that's Bridon Gueermo. He's just a third grader, but he can sing and dance better than anybody,” Butters said.

“Hah! Wonder if (Y/N) can sing better than him. Wait, she can't sing!” Cartman laughed. You glared at him as Kenny shoved him. Bebe walks over.

“He's already seen High School Musical 3 over a hundred times,” Bebe swooned.

“Everyone is special in their own way,” Everyone sang.

“Special in their own way!” Bridon sang.

“Move to the beat and let your spirit out!” They sang. You got out your phone, recording the scene.

“Don't tell me you're enjoying this, (Y/N),” Stan said, you turned your head to face him and shook your head, returning back to inspecting and recording the musical number.

“Whatever it is it will probably get her some good cash,” Kyle pointed out, staring at you with a raised eyebrow.

“Even then it will be fucking hilarious,” Kenny mused, it coming out muffled by his parka.

“Are we the only ones here who are completely confused?” Kyle asked.

“Yeah, I guess we'd better check that movie out…” Stan said, unsure of himself. The boys got up, you still recording.

“Aren't you joining us?” Kyle asked you. You got a pen from your pocket and wrote on the table,

‘Already seen it’ Stan read out loud. He looked at you puzzled.

“They why aren't you singing with them if it's such a good movie,” Stan asked, pointing to the continuing musical number. You shook your head and gave a thumbs down.

“Okay, to you the movie is shit?” Kyle asked. You nodded. The boys left the cafeteria, the singing dying down.

 

The next day, you saw Stan, Kyle and Kenny enter the room. Kenny sat on the next to you, Kyle sat on the other desk next to you and Stan sat in front of you. You raised a brow at them, basically your way of asking how the movie went.

“It was shit,” Stan answered, turning around on his desk. You nodded, patting his shoulder in sympathy.

“We swore to never get into the movie,” Kyle said.

“Yeah,” Kenny backed up, which was also muffled. You nodded as you went back to doodling, Kenny watching your doodling with his chin resting on the palm of his gloved hand. You smiled at him once you noticed this and then went back to doodling. You were doodling a angry looking Cartman, basically making his whole body a big circle and a cross as his eyes as if he was yelling. Kenny let out out a muffled laugh, filling you with pride. It was rare to get much emotion from Kenny. Everyone thought Craig was emotionless but that's false. Craig is just monotonous. You’ve seen Craig grin and smile countless of times. It was shocking how stupid some people are. Kenny was the friend you were least closest to. You didn't hate him or anything, he was cool and chill, but he was mysterious. He rarely takes off his hood, only once he has to for something. You’ve seen him three or four times without his hood and hot damn. You wouldn't mind tapping that. Now you were wondering how he was possibly rated 7 on the cutest boy in the class list. The girls must have not seen him without his hood. Since you were stuck thinking about Kenny’s looks, you noticed the said blonde staring at you. You realised you froze once you were left thinking. You blushed lightly under Kenny’s stare. You shook your head and went back to doodling till the bell rang. At that moment kids started filing in and filling up the empty desks. You saw Cartman drag himself along, looking seemingly depressed. You wonder what happened THIS time.

“Ehhhhhhh,” Cartman sighed, taking a seat next to Stan. Stan stopped writing and looked at Cartman.

“What happened? I thought you were gonna kill yourself,” Kyle asked. Wait...what?

“I tried. Went to sleep in my mom's car in the garage with the engine turned on,” Cartman said. You decided not to question anything and tuned their conversation out. Mr. Garrison walked into class, holding his books.

“All right, kids in seats, kids in seats,” Mr. Garrison instructed, the remaining few students sitting down.

“Today we are going to discuss the Berlin Wall,” Mr. Garrison announced, writing ‘Berlin Wall’ on the chalkboard.

“This was a wall in Germany that actually separated the Communist east side and the Democratic west side,” Mr. Garrison explained. Wendy stands up on the seat of her desk.

“East side, west side, whatever side that you're on~” Wendy sang as some kids started to snap their fingers. Oh no. Please, no.

“As long as we care about each other we can still have some fun!” Bebe sang along. No, life fucking sucks. Shut up and sit the fuck down.

“Aw man,” Kyle whined.

“Don't sweat what you might get by assuming the other side as a threat,” The class sings except for you, Kenny, Kyle, Stan and Cartman.

“Oh, you kids,” Mr. Garrison beams. Stan buries his face in his hands as you slumped onto your seat.

“Each side is right or wrong, we've gotta learn to all get along~” the class sang in a chorus. At that moment, Briton walked into the room, snapping his fingers. You scowled at him. The fucker better not escalate things.

“East side, west side, doesn't matter to me. We've gotta learn to power through, set each other free~” Briton sang. Motherfucker. Wendy weaved through desks to get to Bridon at the front.

“We don't care what other people wear or the way they like to style their hair,” Wendy sang. You rubbed your forehead, a headache growing.

“Each side is right or wrong, we've gotta learn to all get along,” Bridon and Wendy sang together.

“East siiide, west siiide, east siiide…” The class sang. Cartman looked pissed off.

“God this sucks,” Cartman yelled.

 

You, Kenny, Kyle and Cartman waited for Stan. He was running late for some reason. You were chewing on your apple as Cartman complained about the singing last period. Kyle told him to shut up and change the subject. You and Kenny ignored Kyle and Cartman’s arguing. Soon enough Stan walked in with his lunch tray. You rose an eyebrow as Kyle and Cartman’s arguing ceased.

“Where the fuck were you,” Cartman asked. Stan looked proud of himself.

“Just settling things,” He answered.

 

The next morning, you, Kenny, Kyle, Cartman and Stan approached the school.

“You guys, I need to copy your math homework before class,” Cartman said.

“You're not copying my homework, you lazy turd,” Kyle snapped.

“Fuck you, Kyle!” Cartman cursed at the red head as all of you entered the building only to witness a pre-class musical production. Oh fuck.

“And you know, we're together at school again~” Everyone sang.

“School again,” now that one was from Jimmy.

“Aww!” Stan whined.

“With all of our friends, and you know, we'll be doing this forever~” Literally the whole school sang.

“Oh God, shut up!” Cartman yelled.

“Together at school again. What a special day~”

“Shut. Up. Shut. Up. Shut. Uuup!” Cartman screamed.

“We could say that neverrrrrrrrrrr. Goes away,” They sang on a high note. The bell rang as everyone walks off to class as if nothing happened. You, Kyle, Kenny and Cartman walk to class as Stan catches up to Bridon. You were wondering what Stan wanted to say to him but you shrugged it off.

 

You, Cartman and Kenny were over at Kyle’s house. You were sitting on the armrest of couch, next to Kenny since there was no more room on the couch. 

“Oh that's good that's good. Yeah. Shoot that guy in the face, Kyle,” Cartman said.

Stan entered the living room, his hands shoved into the pockets of his brown jacket.

“Yeah, nice,” Cartman stated, still concentrated on the game.

“You guys, this High School Musical thing isn't gonna go away. I think we'd better just get on board with it,” Stan said.

“What? Are you crazy?” Kyle exclaimed, his emerald green eyes not leaving the screen.

“No way, dude,” Cartman disagreed.

“We promised each other we would never do that, remember?” Kyle said.

“Yeah,” Kenny muffled out.

“I know, but... I think we're really starting to become outcasts at school. We're losing all our credibility. I mean, look at who you guys are hanging out with now. Scott Malkinson, for Christ's sake,” Stan said, indication to the brunette sitting on a stool a good distance away.

“What's do bad about hanging out with me?” Scott asked, still playing the game.

“Shut up, Scott Malkinson. ‘I'm Scott Malkinson. I've got a lisp and I've got diabetes’,” Cartman mocked.

“Hey, don't make fun of my diabetes,” Scott argued.

“‘Don't make fun of my diabetes, I'm Scott Malkinson’,” Cartman mimicked as Kenny laughs. Wow, rude.

“You can rip on him, but you guys are hanging out with him. Doesn't that make you think maybe your clout at school has slipped a little?” Stan stated.

“Stan, you're just jealous of that third grader and you think Wendy's gonna go for him unless you start singing and dancing too,” Kyle said. Busted, mate.

“Yeah!” Kenny said, and as usual it came out muffled.

“That's isn't true!” Stan argues. Silence.

“Okay, that's totally true. But you guys, we are at risk of becoming the unpopular kids,” Stan said.

“Hey, that was supposed to be my power-up pack,” Scott whined.

“‘That was supposed to be my power-up pack, I'm Scott Malkinson and I have diabetes’,” Cartman mocked again.

 

The next day you were in the hallway, putting away your books as Kyle leaned against the locker next to you, waiting for you. Bebe came into the hallway.

“They're here! The audition results for the school musical are in!” Bebe exclaimed, causing everyone in the hallway to turn to her, including you and Kyle. All the kids ran to the bulletin board except for you and Kyle. You looked at him as he merely shrugged. You saw Butters standing on a stool, checking the results for everyone.

“Hey, you got the lead, Wendy,” Butter said. Wendy smiled as all the girls congratulate her.

“Who's the male lead?” Clyde asked.

“No surprise there. It's Bridon,” Butters said. Bridon stays quiet as the boys and some girls congratulate him.

“I get to be a stand-in!” Butters cheered. You shook your head and closed your locker door, walking to the lunch room with Kyle.

“So, um, (Y/N), I was meaning to ask that maybe, um, just maybe. Y-you want to go on a d-date?” Kyle asked. You froze and turned to him in surprise. You never really thought of Kyle as someone more than a friend, he used to be your crush but you grew out of it, deciding you were still conflicted with your feelings. But, maybe it could work out. It was worth a try. You realised you left the poor guy hanging as he nervously waited for your answer. You nodded, signalling you agreed. Kyle grinned. You both walked in and spotted Cartman and Kenny. Kyle suddenly grabbed your hand, confusing you but decided not to question it. You walked over to the table. Cartman and Kenny saw both of you holding hands. Cartman merely scoffed and looked away while Kenny stared with his icy blue eyes. You were kinda worried for him. You waved at them and sat down, Kyle’s hand still gripping onto yours. A conversation started up about the game you guys played yesterday. Stan didn't show up for lunch.

 

You, Cartman, Kenny, Kyle and Scott trudged through the snow towards Stan’s house. You all were curious why Stan didn't show up so you decided to confront him. The three boys were ahead of you and Kyle as you walked slowly behind them.

“So, for the date what do you want to do?” Kyle asked, rubbing his gloved hands together to create a friction of heat. You got out your phone and started typing.

‘I’m fine with anything :)’

Kyle looked in thought for a moment.

“How does a movie date sound,” Kyle suggested. You nodded, agreeing.

“Cool, so on Saturday?” Kyle asked. You nodded again. Kyle smiled at you as he gave you a side-hug.

“Hurry up Jew and Jew’s girlfriend!” Cartman yelled. You rolled your eyes and so did Kyle as you picked up your pace to catch up with the rest. Kyle opened the door and it surprisingly opened so all of you let yourself in. The first thing you saw once all of you entered the living room was Stan sitting on the sofa, immersing himself in the High School Musical movies.

“Well, I had to see it to believe it!” Kyle exclaimed, startling Stan.

“I told you guys. He's been watching High School Musical over and over again,” Cartman stated.

“Actually, this is High School Musical 2. It has a dance-along part,” Stan corrected.

“We said we wouldn't be a part of this fad and look at you!” Kyle argued.

“Yeah, look at yourself, dude,” Kenny muffled out, agreeing with Kyle.

“Look, you guys might be fine with being outcasts and hanging out with Scott Malkinson, but I'm not!” Stan said.

“You know what? At least Scott Malkinson has some self-respect! At least Scott Malkinson doesn't cave into peer pressure and start doing musicals!” Kyle defended.

“Scott Malkinson has a lisp and diabetes! Nobody's gonna let him do a musical!” Stan retorted. You glared at him.

“'At's enough, you guysth, it's not cool. Lots of kids have diabetes, and you shouldn't be-”

“‘You shouldn't pick on kids with diabetes, that's not cool. I'm Scott Malkinson’,” Cartman mocked again. You rolled your eyes. Way to be an extra, Cartman.

“Look, guys,” Stan got off the couch, facing away from you and the boys.

“The world is changing. We can't fight it, we have to change with it. I've been watching these movies, and from the looks of it, there's gonna be a lot more singing and dancing when we get to high school,” Stan turned to face all of you again.

“And if you think we'll gain any respect by ignoring this thing and being individuals, then think about this: right now,” Stan pointed a finger.

“everyone thinks Butters is way cooler than any of you,” Stan said.

“That's a low blow, Stan,” Cartman stated, solemnly.

 

Two days later you were laying on your bed. You had caught a cold and you were currently just staring at the ceiling in boredom. Your mother peeked into your room.

“(Y/N), honey, a friend of yours came to see you, do you want him to come in?” Your mother asked. You nodded and smiled at her. She gave a quick kiss on your forehead and left to go get the person who visited you. Maybe it was Kyle. The door opened to reveal...Kenny? You didn't expect that. Nevertheless you were flattered he took the time to visit you. He waved at you and walked in.

“Hi,” He muffled out. You waved at him.

“Did you get sick?” He asked. You nodded.

“Oh,” he said. You got out your phone and started typing.

‘So how did the musical number work?’

“Don't ask,” he slumped into his seat as you smiled.

‘Bad?’

He nodded.

“It was embarrassing, never listen to those three,” he shook his head. You nodded with a smile.

“Also Kyle wanted to say he’s sorry he couldn't visit since Ike had a doctors appointment,” Kenny added. You nodded and smiled.

It was a peaceful silence after that.

“So are you and Kyle dating?” Kenny asked. You knew someone was going ask that eventually.

‘I wouldn't say dating since we aren't bf or gf’

“So he just asked you to hang out but in a date way?” Kenny asked.

‘Yup’

“Do you like him?” That question put you into deep thinking. Did you really? He was sweet, temperamental, but sweet. Also smart and probably the most sanest of the group. From what you saw, anyway.

‘I dunno. I have mixed feelings’

“So you hate him but love him?” Kenny raised a brow.

‘No, like he’s a good guy and everything but I’m not sure if I wanna keep a commitment with him’

“But if you don't like him that way then just reject him, it will make him upset if he finds out you don't like him that way, after giving him a hint that you do” Kenny said. It's making me upset too, Kenny thought. You looked shamefully at the (f/c) quilt on top of you.

‘Yeah, but I wanted to give it a try’ you typed. Kenny just nodded.

“Just be careful,” Kenny warned. You were still surprised how he is saying more that just four or five words to you, and actually conversing with you, let alone being worried for a date between you and Kyle. You smiled at him.

“Well, I got to go, I’ll hopefully see you tomorrow,” Kenny said. You squeezed his hands in appreciation as he left your room. As soon as you heard the sound of the front door being shut your mother walked into your room.

“He was sweet, you should invite him over more often,” Your mother said. Yeah, you should hang out with him more often.


	6. The Coon

It was dark outside as you sat outside on a park bench. Your phone was pressed to your ear as tears streamed down your cheeks and you were huddled in your oversized coat.

“Dad loves you, I love you. I miss you, can't wait to see you in the summer,” you heard your older brother say. You wiped your eyes and as expected he didn't get a reply.

“We will have so much fun, we will go swimming, we can have a picnic, we can go see a few movies and you can invite your new friends too!” Your brother was really trying to connect with you by listing down ideas both of you did in your childhood, when you could actually talk, when mom and dad didn't fall out of love. Your brother didn't contact you for a long time and since dad asked him to call you under his behalf, well, let's just say you weren't happy. You were getting ticked off. He honestly didn't care. You put on your camera, him now seeing his little sister huddled under many layer in the dark with tear stains on his face with red puffy eyes. Guilt hit him hard but before he can say anything you showed him your middle finger before you hung up, the last thing you saw was his shocked face. You got up, stuffing your phone into your pocket and walking down the street, suddenly a figure jumped from behind you. You quickly turned your neck to see a plump shadow behind you.

“Don't worry, I, The Coon, will guide you to your destination, even if your a mute,” a familiar voice said, sounding proud. You rolled your eyes. Fucking Cartman. You turned around and walked away, not paying any mind to him.

“Wait, I’m supposed to lead the way, goddamn it mute!” Cartman called after you, you still walking away. You heard him say ‘mute bitch’ before you heard footsteps walking the opposite direction from you. You had walked towards a familiar dull green house, knocking on it. The door opened to reveal Kyle, in his Terrance and Philip pjs looking a bit suprised and in daze.

“(Y/N), what are you doing here?” He asked you. You got out your phone and started typing,

‘Problems at home, can I stay please?’

Kyle sent you a worried look and quickly nodded, letting you into the warm house after you took of your boots. After your first date with Kyle, you both decided to put any future steps on hold since Kyle was also confused with his own emotions. The date was cute but awkward anyway. You got closer to him since he seemed to be the one who thinked less with his dick, or the others were a bit too cold.

“My parents and brother are still asleep so if you wanna stay here without being questioned be really quite,” Kyle whispered. You looked at him with a deadpan face till he realised what he just said.

“I-I mean like, y’know, don't walk l-loudly,” Kyle stuttered, hoping he didn't offend you. You nodded, sending him a grateful smile. You and Kyle tiptoed upstairs and Kyle shut his door, a bit forcefully due to the wind.

“Kyle, what happened,” you heard Mrs. Broflovski’s voice outside the door. You froze and Kyle looked panicked.

“Oh, yeah, sorry I went downstairs for a glass of water,” Kyle replied. Nice safe.

“Okay, bubbe, go back to sleep,” Mrs. Broflovski replied before you heard footsteps and a door being closed. You wiped your forehead and Kyle let out a breath he didn't realise he was holding in.

“So, mind telling me what happened?” Kyle asked. And with those few words you were left in tears as Kyle awkwardly patted your back. You didn't know what to do, all this pressure was too much for you. Maybe you should have gone to someone else.

“Look, (Y/N), I’m not good at comforting but if you need someone to go to you know I’m here,” Kyle said. You nodded, wiping the remains of your tears you took of your coat and typed on your phone everything that happened, how you felt, why you did what you did. Kyle read the long message.

“I’m sorry about what happened, (Y/N), I will never be able to properly help you cause I can't experience what your experiencing but just know that no matter about your dad, screw him, he doesn't deserve you. Just give your mother to cool off, maybe she was just fusterated and your brother…,” Kyle trailed off. You leaned closer, signaling that you were listening.

“Maybe he is actually making an effort to get to know you, I mean, uh– no offence but he, y'know, he is probably been with a joined family longer than you and this might, you know, hurt him more than you. Not saying you can't be hurt! Just saying that he might be a bit more damaged. Not saying he's insane or anything–” you cut Kyle’s ramble of with a hug, a way of thanking him. He was still and you were about to pull away till you felt arms wrap around you, hugging you back.

“No problem, (Y/N),” Kyle answered as if he could read your mind. Sending him one last smile and a wave you opened his bedroom window and climbed down a ladder that was placed towards his bedroom window.

“Convienet,” Kyle muttered before waving back to you as you climbed down.

 

You, Stan, Kyle and Kenny were standing near the bus stop. You usually don't take the bus but since your fight with your mom you decided to make it up to her by waking way earlier than usual, cooking her breakfast and leaving a note saying that she doesn't need to go through the trouble of driving you to school. You killed your remaining time with Kenny, who you had grown closer to and also usually waited earlier than most, till you both met up with Kyle and Stan once it was time to wait for the bus.

“Hey guys. Good morning,” Cartman greeted. You would have been polite and waved to him but he called you a bitch yesterday and criticised for you being mute but now your use to it. The guys joined in on not replying to him with you.

“You guys... hear that another rape victim got saved by a superhero last night? They say it was the Coon,” Cartman stated. You rolled your eyes.

“Who's the Coon?” Stan asked.

“I know, right? ‘Who is the Coon?’ It's what everyone must be asking themselves. Somebody is dressing up at night and taking the law into their own hands. As for me, I certainly don't agree with the Coon's reckless ways. If you ask me, there's no room in this world for vigilantes. I believe the Coon is a menace,” Cartman said, hoping not to give away his identity.

“...Yeah, and dressing up and running around at night is faggy anyway,” Kyle said, half-heartedly as you mentally laughed at the irony. Cartman, however, looks stunned and points to Kyle.

“You’re a fag, Kyle! Fuck you!” Cartman yells.

“...Dude, what?” Kyle exclaims in confusion.

“He’s not a fag!” Way to hide your identity, Cartman.

“Why do you care?” Kyle retorted.

“Oh. I uh... well I ah ah,” Cartman was caught off guard. Cartman crossed his arms after regaining his posture.

“I'm just... I'm just mad 'cause you should never use the term ‘fag,’ Kyle. That's a hate word. And it's insensitive to butt pirates. Anyway, what do you think about the Coon, Stan, (Y/N) and Kenny? Do you think he's the savior this town needs or do you think he's a dangerous vigilante?” Neither of us answer.

“Kenny?”

 

In class, as expected, Cartman was giving an oral report of The Coon. As a plus he was also wearing a shirt that said ‘Who Is The Coon?’.

“And of course the most common question asked is, just who is he? Is he a hero or a menace?” Cartman read. Half of the class, including you, were bored while Clyde was fast asleep on his desk. Even Mr. Garrison was quietly reading a book during Cartman’s speech.

“While we can all admit that the Coon is obviously really cool, we should also be asking each other… ‘Why does he care so much for the people of this town? Why does he sacrifice himself every night to rid our streets of crime? And does he really have the right?’ What we all need now–” Cartman stops himself once he sees Clyde asleep.

“Clyde? Clyde, could you wake up please? This is important,” Cartman tells the brunette. Clyde wakes up. He lookes, cutely in your opinion, around in daze.

“What we all need now is PROOF... that the Coon exists. I believe that tonight from approximately 5 to 5:45 the Coon is going to be on the roof of Walgreens. I know I'll be there with my camera. And I'm sure... many of you will, too,” Fucking finally it’s over.

 

You were getting your books from your locker till you see Cartman stomp over with the same shirt he was wearing yesterday.

“So, guys! Any of you do anything interesting last night?” Cartman exclaimed, pissed off.

“Not really,” Stan answered bluntly.

“Really! Nobody was playing with any fireworks!” Cartman grabbed Stan’s hand and sniffed vigorously. He looked around suspiciously.

“Dude, what the hell?” Stan asked, weirded out. Preach, my man.

“Aha! Kenny! I should have known!” Cartman walks over to Kenny’s locker and points.

“Why do you have a picture of Mysterion in your locker, Kenny?” Cartman points at Kenny.

“Unless you are Mysterion!” Cartman exclaims.

“Dude, I have a picture of Mysterion in my locker too,” Stan opens his locker door to show the picture of Mysterion. You also opened your locker door to show the picture of Mysterion. What? He looked hawt but he kinda lost that charm once it came to wearing his briefs outside of his pants.

“Yeah, so do I,” Clyde joined in.

“What! Why?” Cartman asked, bewildered. He really shouldn't be.

“I don't know, it's just a cool costume,” Clyde answers.

“It's not a cool costume! He just wears his underwear over his buttfucking pants! Now, come on, which one of you guys is it!” Cartman yells in anger and fusteration.

“How are you so sure Mysterion is a boy,” Wendy questions, not sparing a glance as she walks past. Cartman gasps as he stares at Wendy’s departing figure.

“Fucking bitch…” Oh boy.

 

It was morning as you were in the first row, next to your mother. She and you compromised the day before and are now acting as if nothing happened. You looked ahead in surprise and anticipation. They were going to reveal who Mysterion is. If you knew him you wouldn't mind tapping that at all. Other then that you were genuinely curious. He has been a hotshot for a while now and after defeating someone named ‘Professor Chaos’, with the unnecessary help of the Coon, you can tell Cartman was even more eager.

“Citizens, tonight has shown me I have no choice but to unmask myself,” Mysterion said in his usual, low voice.

“Don't do it, Mysterion! If you show your identity we'll be forced to arrest you for being a vigilante,” Yates cries.

“Don't you think he knows that? But superheroes know that sometimes you have to sacrifice yourself for the greater good,” Cartman, or shall I say The Coon, mused.

“Don't show your face, Mysterion!” Someone in the crowd said.

“You have to be a symbol!” Another man joined.

“So that the next terrorist can threaten South Park if he doesn't unmask himself?” Cartman argued.

“No, it's true. As long as my identity is a mystery, this will just happen again and again. It has to end. I will show my face,” Mysterion said, you bit your lip. Poor guy. Mysterion takes his mask as your eyes widened. The crowd ‘ohhhs’.

“Well I’ll be…” some says.

“I knew it was you! 'Member I even said it before!” The Coon exclaims.

“Wow, a kid from my class is Mysterion,” Mr. Garrison says from the same row as you while you were still in a state of shock as your mother grabbed your hand, knowing you were hurt.

“Well I'm sorry but you're under arrest. Take the kid to jail,” Yates says, asking someone to escort Kyle away. You stared ahead, your eyebrows furrowed. He couldn't be Mysterion. The time the crime happened you were with him, studying. Realisation hit you hard.

 

Kyle isn't Mysterion.

 

The real Mysterion is still out there.


	7. The Coon 2: Hindsight

You stared blankly at the mess of boys in Cartman’s basement or should you say ‘The Coon’s Headquarters’. Apparently you were their media manager. So basically your job was to record them in ‘battle’. You better be paid good.

“My fellow heroes, tonight I stopped three murders from happening,” The Coon, AKA Cartman, paced back and forth.

“I don't know why, but we're seeing a huge trend in crime. We have to find out the source of this evil. Something big is about to happen, and it is up to Coon and Friends to stop it,” Cartman announced. Toolshed, or Stan, raises his hand. It was pretty obvious since only Stan and Craig had black hair but Craig’s voice was too nasally.

“Yes, Toolshed,” Cartman says.

“Why do we have to be called ‘Coon and Friends’?” Toolshed asked. The Coon stops.

“What?” He was clearly caught off-guard.

“We all fight crime together. How come we're just your ‘friends’?” Toolshed clarifies. TupperWear or Token, yet another obvious costume since he literally put a square container on his head, steps forward.

“Yeah, we wanna be called ‘The Extreme Avenger League’,” Plus Token didn't bother toning down his pitch like a few people.

“I told you, TupperWear, Extreme Avenger League doesn't work,” The Coon argued.

“Why not?” TupperWear asked.

“It's confusing! The Coon is a brand people already know,” The Coon retorted.

“Why can't it be Mosquito and Friends?” You didn't know his identity, The Coon and Friends didn't allow you to know everyone's identity since you were only their ‘mute and bitchy media manager’. The Coon’s words, not yours.

“Nobody's fucking heard of you, Mosquito!” The Coon yells, losing his cool, if he ever had any.

“Have, so,” Mosquito grumbled. The Coon ignores him and continues pacing around.

“Look guys, we need to find out what's causing the crime wave in this city,” The Coon says, stopping and turning to Mysterion. You were not sure of his identity either. Damn it.

“Mysterion, you and the Human Kite get on the computer and dig up what you can. TupperWear and Mosquito, scan the news. Toolshed, you run a perimeter check with Iron Maiden,” The Coon instructed. You weren't sure of Human Kite’s identity since he also used a lower pitch like Mysterion. You knew Iron Maiden’s identity since…

“Timmeh!” ...Yeah, that's why.

“Let's work, people!” The Coon says. You roll your eyes and get up, retrieving your camera from a wooden table as all the heroes scatter to do their job. You saw The Coon hold back Mint Berry Crunch. He had a odd superhero name but you guessed it was Bradley due to the haircut. You get your camera out and start recording. You got out Google and started typing. You moved your camera around, displaying the area.

“This is The Coon and Friends’ Headquarters. As you can see it is yet another boring task given out by the obese weighted, quote on quote, superhero called The Coon–” You heard someone snicker.

“(Y/N)!” The Coon yelled. You offed the computer voice, turning to face him with a raised brow.

“Your our mute media manager! Your supposed to be documenting this so our descendants can look up to us–”

“I better be paid good for this, asshole,” the computer’s dull voice cut him off. The Coon grumbled and turned away from you. Why wasn't he putting up a fight?

 

Apparently a fire was happening so now you were in Cartman’s car, his mom driving downtown. You were squashed between Mysterion and Toolshed while trying to keep your camera stable enough to be viewed properly.

“Why do you need to be recording right now,” Mysterion’s low pitched voice questioned you. You pointed your index finger to The Coon who was sitting on the passenger's seat next to his mom. Mysterion said nothing else. Why you gotta be so rude~

 

Aaand Cartman blew a fuse. Apparently a knock off superhero named Captain Hindsight came and literally criticised the situation before leaving, not saving any of the fourteen souls that died. The Coon had taken your camera for ‘further inspections’. You were eating dinner alone since your mom had ‘some business to take care of’. The doorbell rang and you thought it was one of the guys till you saw your mom with a smile on her face.

“Hey, sweetie! Guess who came to visit!” Your mom stepped back as a tall boy stepped into view, carrying a suitcase with him as he smiled at you, staring you down. You froze in shock.

“Your brother wanted to visit you for these remaining three weeks before summer!” Your mother cheered. Your figure slouched and you looked deflated. You felt tears prick at the corner of your eyes. Your mother noticed and so did your brother but before either of them could say anything a large siren screeched.

 

“Coon and Friends alert. Coon and Friends alert,” Cartman’s voice was heard with the siren. Your mother and brother looked startled.

“Wh–” you cut your mother off by pushing past her and your brother and racing outside as both of them called out to you.

 

You opened the basement door and walked in as all eye diverted to you.

“Your late, media manager,” The Coon said. You ignored him and sat down on the stool you usually sat at, deciding to finally pay attention to what The Coon had to say. For once you were grateful for Cartman to interrupt you.

“So what's the huge catastrophe?” Token asked.

“What's the huge-? Did you guys not see that Captain Hindsight guy!” Cartman exclaimed.

“Yeah, so?” Human Kite questioned.

“So there's a big superhero out there doing stuff on his own and he's NOT part of Coon and Friends!” The Coon yelled.

“Oh Jesus…” Toolshed muttered. The Coon walks up to ‘a hidden computer’ which was actually a prop.

“I've looked into it and this Captain Hindsight is everywhere. He's like some freelance butthole scab. We need to make him join us!” Cartman states.

“Hey fellas?” A voice interrupted. All of you turned to Professor Chaos or Butters, who was in a cell Cartman made.

“Fellas, could you let me out please? It uh it's been like six days,” Chaos asked.

“You aren't going anywhere, Chaos!” The Coon says.

“Yeah, but uh, but uh youuu, but you only gave me this bucket to poop in and it's full now,” Chaos pulls out a bucket which smells terrible. You scrunch up your nose in disgust.

“And I ain't got nothing to eat,”

“You've got poop, don'tcha?” The Coon retorts as he turns back to the superheroes. You felt bad and would have let him out but you would get fired and you needed the money so you can move far away from South Park and North Park. Far away from everyone.

“Now the question is, how are we gonna get Captain Hindsight to join Coon and Friends?”

“Who cares if a hero doesn't want to be part of Coon and Friends?” Mysterion states.

“I care!” The Coon argues.

“Look, all we need to do is wait for the next disaster, then try to beat Hindsight to the scene,” Mysterion says. You sighed. Maybe you should just leave and take your paycheck. You walked over to The Coon, interrupting their meeting. You held out your hand, signalling you want your money. The Coon stares at your waiting hand.

“Yeah...Look, we are on a budget so we can't pay you. At least your doing work for charity–” you cut Cartman off by grabbing Cartman by the collar of his outfit, throwing your fist back for a punch till someone grabbed you, pulling you away from The Coon. It was Toolshed. The Coon, however, looked shock and stared at your figure that was putting up a fight. You tried to calm yourself, counting to ten in your head. You completely deflated as you hung your head, tears starting to form. What was happening to you? You were never this sensitive and never lost your cool that easily. You pushed away from Toolshed and slammed open the basement door, racing outside and into the rain. You let your feet carry you at a random direction as you sprinted down unfamiliar roads and streets, the rain pelting down at you. What was actually happening?


	8. Hush Hush Hush Your My Big Fat Crush

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for the title. I was out of ideas + this is a filler chapter

Lots of chatter was going around the boys’ table after the incident with (Y/N). The girl got lost and found by the police near a park, sleeping on a bench the next morning. She was returned and grounded for a week. They had not seen the (h/c)ette since then. 

“Dude, she looked so mad! She literally looked like she was going pound Cartman to the ground!” Stan said, munching on a bite of his sandwich. Cartman grumbled.

“Cartman looked as if he was going to shit his pants!” Kyle’s comment got a muffled laugh from Kenny. Cartman’s face turned red from anger and embarrassment.

“I was not fucking scared! She could bring her mute ass and I will kick it!” Cartman yelled.

“S-She isn't u-u-usually like this,” Jimmy stated.

“I don't think she was having a good day, guys,” Token said. Kyle thought for a moment.

“Yeah, that was kinda weird. She usually would let me know if she was upset,” the table grew silent at Kyle’s statement.

“Wait, so she is your girlfriend now?” Stan asked. A blush erupted on Kyle’s face.

“No, dude! We’re just close friends,” Kyle defended.

“Suuure,” Craig said sarcastically, followed by an eye roll.

“We aren't dating!” Kyle argued.

“But didn't you both go on a date?” Kenny asked, and as usual it came out muffled.

“We did but we thought we should think over our feelings before going forward,” Kyle explained.

“So how was that date with her?” Cartman questioned, curiously.

“Why do you wanna know, fatass!” Kyle snapped. Cartman opened his mouth to argue but was cut off by Craig.

“Cartman has a crush on (Y/N),”

“I fucking do not!” Cartman retorted.

“Yeah, you definitely do. You don't even try to put up a fight with her like you usually do with everyone,” Token pointed out. Cartman glared.

“I don't and never will! You all are just saying that because you know she wouldn't like a bunch of pussies like you!” Cartman shouted.

“You think she would like a fat tub of lard?” Craig snapped.

“I think she likes Kyle,” Token stated, interrupting Cartman from retaliating.

“I told you, she isn't sure how to feel,” Kyle says.

“Wait, so you mean she has a crush on two people?” Clyde asked.

“No, dude. Not exactly, I think,” Kyle said, unsure of himself.

“So I still have a chance!” Clyde said with a smile.

“She said in the sleepover she doesn't like you, dumbass,” Cartman replied.

“The sleepover was a long time ago, she and Kyle went on a date way after that so any of us still have a chance,” Token said.

“Don't you have Nichole?” Clyde asked.

“I never said I liked (Y/N),” Token replied.

“Yeah, and I have Wendy,” Stan joined in.

“Dude, you both break up and get back together every week,” Kyle mused.

“Whatever,” Stan rolled his eyes.

“So she can have a crush on me,” Kenny said. His smile was not visible due to his parka.

“Your too poor, man,” Cartman stated.

“At least I’m not fat and the girl doesn't want to kick my ass,” Kenny retorted, once again muffled.

“I think she might like Kenny,” Stan said. Cartman raised a brow.

“How do you know?”

“She said Mysterion was hot but she doesn't know he is Kenny,” Stan said. Kenny’s hidden smile grew bigger as he let out a muffled cheer.

“But she called me cute before,” Craig said.

“She called all of us cute, except for Cartman,” Stan replied.

“Wait, she's called m-me cute before?” Butters asked.

“She said she felt sorry for you,” Stan said with a shrug. Even if that wasn't a very positive answer, Butters still grinned.

“So she doesn't think I’m lame!” Butters cheered. No one decided to burst his bubble.

“How about we b-b-b-be more ra-ra-rational here. L-l-let's actually l-l-list who she can po-po-possibly crush on,” Jimmy said. The boys agreed. Kyle ripped out a sheet of paper from a notebook that lay on the ground. Stan handed him a stray pen he found in his jacket’s pocket. The boys huddled around Kyle to be able to suggest someone without being unheard.

“Kyle put in yourself,” Stan instructed.

“Why, Kyle? She doesn't like him,” Cartman questioned. Stan noticed his best friend’s expression deflate and his best-friend-senses kicked in.

“She never said she doesn't like him, she just wanted to be a hundred percent sure where she is going with this,” Stan retorted.

“Fine, now add me,”

“Don't add, Cartman,” Stan stated bluntly.

“Why the fuck not?”

“She wants to kick your ass, dude,” Stan replied.

“She was just on her lady-sickness,”

“She has it at the start of the month,”

“How do you know so much about her, Kyle you are a creep,”

“Stop it you two,” Stan stopped Kyle and Cartman's argument. Kyle didn't add Cartman while the obese kid cussed him out.

“Add Jimmy,” Stan said.

“Why?”

“She likes his jokes,” Stan replied.

“Y-yeah sh-sh-she does,” Jimmy backed up. Kyle added the brunette’s name onto the list.

“Add Clyde,”

“Why?”

“She thinks I’m cute,”

“Says no one else, Clyde,” Craig replied.

“Just add his name,” Stan said, already exasperated.

“Fine,” Kyle added his name in.

“Add Craig,” Stan said. Craig coughed loudly before lifting his and Tweek’s hands which were intertwined.

“Never mind, don't add Craig nor Tweek,” Stan replied, with a raised brow.

“Add Kenny,”

“No, he’s too poor,” Kenny glared at Cartman.

“Ignore Cartman, add Kenny,” Stan instructed. Kyle added the blonde’s name. 

“Well, we're done,” Stan announced.

“What about me, fellas?” Butters asked. Cartman let out a laugh as Kyle added his name for the sake of being rational.

“Now we're done,” Stan said.

“But what if she doesn't like any of us?”

“God, stop killing the mood, Butters!”


	9. Super Fun Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the delay. Here is the next one shot.

You walk towards the attraction you and your class had to visit for the day as an excursion.

“Kids, everyone together. Welcome to Pioneer Village. This is a recreation of early Colorado days. I want you all to meet Pioneer Paul,” Mr. Garrison announces. A bearded employee walks forward, gripping the straps of his suspenders.

“Hi, kids, and welcome to my village. I settled here in 1864 with my mahr and pahr. Sure thing, I ain't never seen strange clothes like you all are wearin'. And what's that fancy yellow horse carriage you got out there?” The bearded employee says, doing a horrible job of mimicking. You roll your eyes.

“Ugh,” Stan, who was standing next to you, groaned in annoyance.

“This is gonna suck,” Kyle stated as you nodded.

“When you all are ready just head up to the village. All the townfolk are there to answer yer questions. And welcome,” he tips his hat.

“To 1864. Set 'em up!”

“Thank you, Pioneer Paul,” Mr. Garrison thanks as the employee walks away.

“All right, kids, this is a big place, so I want everyone to pick a partner to hold hands with,” Everyone walks away to pair themselves with a partner. You walk towards Mr. Garrison, typing in something on your phone and showing him the note. He sighs in either irritation or just in exasperation, you weren't sure.

“Okay, (Y/N), you don't have to hold hands but you’ll have to stick with a group,” Mr. Garrison says.

“Hey, (Y/N), over here!” Wendy calls you over with her, Jimmy, Stan and Kyle. You smile in appreciation and walk towards the group to see Wendy and Stan, Kyle and Jimmy holding hands.

“All right, let's head in,” Mr. Garrison suddenly says, leading the way after talking to Cartman and Butter who were holding hands. All of you enter the centre of the ‘village’, around it are attractions like a carriage house, a saloon and a feed and tackle store.

“All right kids, go ahead and visit the charming villagers and learn stuff,” Mr. Garrison says absentmindedly. The pairs disperse as Garrison reminds everyone to keep track of their partners. You, Wendy, Stan, Kyle and Jimmy decide to drop by the smithy’s shop and you see the smithy is working on a horseshoe that rests on a anvil. The smithy notices all of you.

“Why, howdy partners,” The smithy says as he sets his tools down.

“I'm the town blacksmith. Are you folks settlers, or are you just trappers passin' through?,” He asks.

“Uhhh, look, can we just drop the whole roleplaying thing? I would play along, but my girlfriend's here and I don't wanna look like a total dork in front of her,” Stan says. Wait, you thought they broke up? Damn, you need to keep a track on stuff like this.

“Thanks, Stan,” Wendy smiles. Well, no matter if they are constantly are on a on and off relationship they are cute together. I mean, your close friend and other close friend are dating. Cute, at least they get along well. Pioneer Paul walks over.

“These folks sure are strange, Smithy. We ain't never seen them kind of fancy hats in our time, have we?” You roll your eyes. Kyle points to smithy.

“That guy is wearing a digital watch,” Kyle states. Bless you, Kyle.

“Oh jeez,” Smithy mutters as he tries to adjust his watch so it isn't visible. Pioneer Paul shoots him a glare.

“Damn it, Chad!” Pioneer Paul grumbles to the man. Chad puts the watch in his pocket with a shameful look on his face.

“S-sorry, I'm sorry,” Chad mutters.

“Let's show you folk somethin’ else!” Pioneer Paul says, leading all of you away from the smithy.

“This here is our general store. It's where I buy all my supplies an' sich,” Pioneer Paul states to what you suppose was the general store.

“Howdy partners. I own this hearrr general store,” a employee who was dressed up as a store clerk says.

“Look, Stan, they had beef jerky back then,” Wendy points out to the black haired boy.

“What do you mean ‘back then’? Don't forget, it's 1864!” The Clerk exclaims.

“Right. Except for it really isn't,” Kyle says.

“Wuh, sure it is. Just look around ye,” Pioneer Paul says, suddenly sirens that sounded modern rang.

“What's that,” Kyle asks.

“Sounds like police sirens,” Stan muses.

“What's a si-rene? We ain't never heard of no sirene in 1864,” Pioneer Paul says. You gave a deadpan look, already annoyed. The sound of screeching tires were heard as you, Wendy and Stan, Kyle and Jimmy, Pioneer Paul and The Clerk check through the window to investigate. You see a SUV pull up in the village, seven people leave the vehicle, one looking injured. You couldn't hear what they were saying but you could tell this was definitely not part of the attraction. You saw two people closing the gate as a worried look was plastered on your face.

“What's going on?” Wendy asked, sounding as worried as you.

“I don't know,” Stan answers. You see the men gather up your friends, classmates and the adults. You knew what this was.

This was a attack. You kneel onto the floor and start typing on your phone.

‘This is a attack!’ You show your phone to Jimmy, who was next to you. Your phone suddenly shut down before Jimmy could finish reading the message. You mentally groan. You forgot to charge it this morning.

You can see a man enter the scene who was wearing similar clothes as the rest of the employees. You see him talking till he was shot on the head by a silenced gun. Your jaw dropped as Stan exclaimed ‘Jesus Christ!’. All of you move away from the window and drop to your knees, except for you who was already sitting down.

“We've gotta call the police. Where's your phone?” Stan asked the two employees.

“A phone? Why, what's a phone? We ain't never hearda sich a thing,” Pioneer Paul says.

“What!” Stan exclaims.

“Come on, this is serious!” Kyle argues.

“Eh storehand, you ever heard of this fancy shmancy phone?” Pioneer Paul asks the Clerk.

“Uhhh, nooo. W-we ain't got a phone in our time,” The Clerk answers, though he sounded nervous and hesitant.

“Dude, they just shot a guy in the face! We've gotta call the cops!” Stan tries to reason.

“If you mean the law, only law around here is town sheriff McLawdog. You see, 1864 is a time of growth and development in the Old West,” Pioneer Paul begins.

“This is not the time for that!” Stan snaps, not in the mood to hear about it.

 

You and the remaining people rushed towards the Pioneer Village Administration Office. Wendy was the first to reach the entrance.

“Over here! This looks like an office,” Wendy stated. Kyle opens the door and leads everyone inside. Kyle spots a phone. Jackpot.

“Here! Here's the phone!” Kyle exclaims. Wendy gets onto a stool and tries to dial out.

“Well, what a straaange contraption,” Pioneer Paul says, no one paying any attention to him though.

“I can't get a dial tone,” Wendy says as Kyle listens, soon lowering the receiver.

“What's the number to dial out?” Kyle asks the two men.

“Dial out? Partner, them are some funny words you're usin'” Pioneer Paul replies.

“Dude, do you understand what's going on here!” Stan yells as Kyle and Wendy switch places on the phone. You to step on the Clerk’s foot, getting a surprise ‘ow’ from him. He looks down at you as you glare at him while jerking your head to the direction of Pioneer Paul before walking towards Wendy and Kyle.

“Maybe they're right, Brian. I mean, this is a special circumstance that-” you hear the Clerk mutter to Pioneer Paul before getting grabbed by the collar and shoved to the door with a thud, surprising you a bit. You see Pioneer Paul mumble something to the Clerk and pointing to a sign. You look up to read the sign then rolled your eyes. The sign said ‘Never break character’. How are these people still alive?

“Ogh, I mean, this here room is, it sure is strange. We have nothin' like these fancy devices in our time,” the Clerk suddenly exclaims as Pioneer Paul agrees. You decided to ignore the two.

“I got through! Hello, police?” Kyle says into the phone.

“Nine one one, what's your emergency?” You hear a female operator say.

“There's some terrorists or bank robbers or something that have taken our class hostage!” Kyle explains.

“Taken hostage where?” The operator asked.

“The old Pioneer Village off of Kipling,” Kyle answers.

“You mean that annoying place where employees won't break character?” The operator asks for clarification. Kyle glances back at the two employees.

“Sister, you don't know the half of it.”

 

You and the group had left the safety of the administration building to go to the centre of the village, hiding behind a trough.

“Why aren't the cops coming in?” Kyle asks.

“They must be negotiating,” Wendy answers.

“Them there bandits sure look mighty strange. And them pistols is way bigger than whats we's gots,” Pioneer Paul states. You glare at him.

“Will you shut up!” Kyle exclaims, annoyed.

“Wait, you have guns here?” Stan asks.

“Sure. Sheriff got lots of rifles in his office,”

“Well why don't you go get them and bring them back here!” Stan seems to lose his patience too.

“All righty. Come on, storehand,” Pioneer Paul says.

“Yeppir,” the Clerk agrees. The two leave to go to the Sheriff's office. Thank god. You turn back to the scene of the crime to witness the blacksmith from earlier get shoved into a wooden chair and tied up.

“I think their interrogating them,” Kyle says. You scan your class, all of them looking terrified till you realise something. Butters and Cartman aren't with them.

 

You and the group stare at the interrogation that was unfolding. It's been a few minutes and the blacksmith for earlier hasn't shown any signs of breaking character nor telling the door code to a tunnel. A escape tunnel that is.

“I'm going to ask you again, what is the door code to the tunnel!” A man asked impatiently.

“I told you, mister, what would I know about a door code? I'm just a simple blacksmith. With my trusty forge I makes all the metalworks for the village,” the blacksmith answered. The women who was helping with the hostage hit the blacksmith with the butt of her rifle, causing more blood to be visible. The blacksmith let out a loud ‘ow’. The man who was integrating got out a piece of paper that none of you can see.

“You are an employee here, that means you are required to know the door code for fire code reasons, Mister David Palmer of Colorado Springs!” The person read off the sheet. You were guessing it was some sort of employee bio document.

“Huh my name ain't Palmer, it's... Old Smithy. Hand we ain't never heard of no fire code, why, we gots to put fires out ourselves when the–” the women strikes him again with her rifle.

“That's it!” The man yells in anger, grabbing his gun and aiming it at the blacksmith’s left temple.

“Tell me the code or you die!” The man threatens. The blacksmith sobs.

“One...two…” the man counts.

“I–”

“Yes?”

“I don't know nothin' about no fancy door code. I'm just a simple blacksmith,” the man was shot, his body falling off the chair. You were alarmed and disturbed. The class looked stunned, except for Craig. Figures.

“These Pioneer Village workers are really committed to their jobs,” Craig observed. No shit. Another worker was placed onto the chair as the blacksmith’s body was dragged away.

“No. Please. Don't hurt me,” the worker pleaded.

“Give us the code to that door and we can leave!” The man said.

“I've never heard of sss-something called a door code,” The worker replies. Dear god.

“I don't have time for your stupid game! Tell me, or you die right now!” The man yells, getting his gun ready.

“All right, all right! Look, it's just, it's just one of those... Jenkins home security locks. You press the top button and then, and then enter 5-2–” the worker was shot but not by the man. You stared in surprise as everyone gasped. Pioneer Paul stood, holding a rifle and the Clerk is next to him. Pioneer Paul, throws away the rifle.

“What he meant to say, kids, is that we ain't never heard o'no fancy door code 'cause in our time, we gots to rely on wood locks and sich,” Pioneer Paul says.

“God damn it you people are fucking insane!” The man explains in anger. When did you figure that out?

“I don't believe it,” Kyle says.

“Domino, Walsky! Find out if there are any employees or students wandering about! Bring them here or shoot them!” The man orders a balding man and another henchmen. Oh fuck. The two henchmen move out.

“Oh crap, we've gotta hide. Come on!” Wendy says as all of you move till you all stop once Jimmy speaks.

“Yeah. We've gotta geh- ...geh... get the hell ...outta here f- f-hast fast,” Then all of you finally leave.

 

All of you hide under a table in a nearby building. Kyle peaks out of a hole in a boarded-up window that was behind the table.

“Dude, they're gonna kill Kenny!” Kyle exclaims. Your eyes widened.

“I can't let them do it,” Stan states, coming out from underneath the table.

“I've got to make the ultimate sacrifice,” Stan explains as he turns and headed towards the door and exits the building. God, please stop him from doing something stupid.

“Stan?” Kyle questions his best friend.

“Where are you going, Stan?” Wendy questions, leaning out.

“Wendy, I have to do something. Please look away,” Stan instructs as he turns around and grabs a handful of dirt, rubbing it on his face. That confused you. You thought he was going to get killed and then you could take credit of being his friend, maybe get some cash from his will. You were somewhat kin with Cartman. But Stan is cool in your book, just as close as Kyle is to you. You see Stan walk to the hostage scene. You walk to where Kyle was standing, inspecting the scene.

“All right, that does it!” The man jabs the tip of his gun to Kenny’s hood, scaring you.

“On the count of three this child dies! One! Two!”

“God damn it, someone help me!” You hear Kenny muffle out.

“Well howdy there, strangers,” Stan walks into the scene of the crime. Everyone stares at him.

“Sorry to interrupt ye, but I done come from Pagosa Springs to buy me some wares an' sich,” Stan says, getting into character. Poor, poor soul. We will remember your sacrifice.

“Ohhh, welcome, partner,” Pioneer Paul greets and so does the other employees.

“Wha-what are you doing?” The man asks in confusion.

“I heard you all had some difficulty with a criminal getsin' out of your jail,” Stan says.

“That's right, Murderin' Murphy. He's crazy 'cause someone killed his pa!” Pioneer Paul explains.

“They killed my pahr!” Another employee yells, who you guessed was Murderin Murphy.

“I reckon that maybe you could make a jail door that opened with numbers instead of keys. You know, like a biiiiig safe,” now you understood where Stan was going with this. You turned your head to your right to see that Kyle understood too, by the look of his face.

“Y-y-yeah, I understand that,” Pioneer Paul stuttered, not knowing where everything was going.

“Finally, a fella that talks some sense,” the Clerk mused.

“If'n you all was to have such a giant safe, what would you villagers want the number to be to unlock that thar jail door shuckamuck?” Stan inquired.

“Oh, well uh, I reckon the easiest number to remember for any big safe door lock would be... 1864,” Pioneer Paul answered.

“Yup, 1864, 'cause that's the year it is,” the Clerk said.

“Eighteen sixty four. Ohrlich, we have the door code! Start packing up! We'll take the hostages with us!. The man smiles.

“No, you got your door code, let us go!” Mr. Garrison argued. A gunshot was heard in a distance shocking you and Kyle. 

“Go! Go take care of it! I'll stay with the hostages!” The man orders as the women and another henchmen leave.

“Hey, m-Murderin' Murphy, you see that there feller?” Stan asks, pointing to the man, who you gathered was the leader.

“Yeah?”

“He done killed yer pahr,” Stan lies. Murderin’ Murphy stands up, enraged.

“What! Well, I'll rip his head off!” Murderin’ Murphy runs towards the man and tackles him. You see officers climb over the wall and pour into the village.

“They are coming in!” A henchmen yells and then starts a shootout between officers and the robbers. Your class and Mr. Garrison run towards the park entrance, officers surrounding the class. Kyle grabs your hand and drags you to the entrance to join your class and Wendy and Jimmy follow. You stood next to Bebe. You grab a notepad from your book and start writing.

‘Are you okay?’

Bebe nods and gives you a side-hug.

“Yeah, I'm a okay, I guess,” you nod with a reassuring smile as Kyle leads you towards Stan.

“Thanks, dude,” Kyle says.

“No problem, dude,” Stan replies as you give your raven haired friend a fist-bump. The three of you inspect the scene into front of all of you. Pioneer Paul and Murderin’ Murphy had gotten into a fistfight. The leader of the robbers had his hands behind his head since the cops were aiming their guns towards him. He was outnumbered. An officer raised his gun towards the two men in the midst of a fistfight.

“Stop right now! It's over!” The officer yells at the men. Suddenly a bell rings out three tones as the fistfight ends.

“Howdy, partners. It's five o'clock. Pioneer Village is now closed for the day. Head back to your wagons and have a safe trip home,” a PA system announces as Murderin’ Murphy and Paul let each other go. All the employees cheer and start dropping parts of their costume or makeup.

“Uh, listen, if anyone still wants to know, the phone is in the administration building, you dial 9 to get out, and there's actually a back exit behind the horse troughs. Good night everybody, thanks for coming. We did it, guys!” Pioneer Paul says as everyone starts leaving, talking about their plans.

 

All of you were outside the Pioneer village and it was the evening. The cops were finishing up the investigation and Mr. Garrison was talking to them.

“Stan, you were really brave in there, but you did kind of sound like a big dork,” Wendy says to her boyfriend.

“I know,” Stan replies. You smiled and ushered Kenny over. You gave him a quick hug before looking to see the police drag the leader into the police car.

“Hey, look!” Wendy points. All of you look to see a heavily beaten up and bruised Butter and Cartman. Cartman was unconscious and Butters drags him past all of you, over the sidewalk, across the parking lot, and on to the bus. Butters then let's go of his and Eric’s interlocked hands.

“Teacher, my partner is back on the bus!” Butter announces before all energy leaves him and he passes out next to Eric. You blinked and glanced at Kenny. All he did was shrug.


	10. The List

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the ridiculously long wait.

You and the girls sat on the table. They were giggling at the list they made for the cutest boy in your class. You were mindlessly chewing on your sandwich. Wendy noticed you dazing off and nudged you. She gave you a sympathetic frown.

“Look, the boys were pretty mean to you, ignore them. They're immature and your too good to hang out with them,” Wendy tried to cheer you up. Yeah, I mean if the guys didn't enjoy your company they didn't need to be a dick about it. You honestly enjoyed being around the girls more. The guys were gross anyway. You nodded, swallowing your bite and sending the noirette a smile. You had tapped on Bebe’s shoulder, requesting to see the list. She handed it over, giggling. You read over the list, mentally laughing at a few results. Though, the last one you had to disagree with. You both currently hated each other but still he didn't lose a competition with looks. You and the girls look up to see the guys staring. Just to mock them you joined in with the giggling girls as Bebe holds up the notebook.

 

The next day at lunch, you were walking with Nelly to the lunch table.

“I can't believe they kicked me!” She complained. You nodded and saw Kenny walk by, staring at both of you. You shoot him a dirty glare and walk faster as Nelly picks up the pace so she is beside you.

“Woah, (Y/N)! Slow down. Were the guys that much of a dick to you?” You nodded at the brunette.

“Boys are stupid anyways,” Nelly states. Both of you reach the table.

“Hey, girls,” Nelly greets the girls on the table as you wave.

“Hey, Nelly and (Y/N)!” Bebe greeted back.

“You both took your time,” Wendy mused.

“Butters kicked me and (Y/N) saw and helped me beat him up,” Nelly answered. Wendy gave a confused stare.

“Why would he kick you?” Wendy asked. Nelly shrugged.

“I don't know,” Nelly answered, taking a seat next to Sally and you sat next to Annie.

“Anyway, our new meeting will be held on Friday at five! Make sure all of you are there, girls,” Bebe announces. All of you nod your heads and continued on chatting the lunch away.

 

You, Wendy, Lola and Red were sitting on the merry-go-round, chatting. 

“I know, that song is awesome!” Lola says. Red seemed to turn away from the brunette and you followed her gaze to see Stan. What does he want?

“Uh, Wendy. Could I talk to you?” Stan asked. You rolled your eyes as Lola and Red just gave a fake smile.

“Of course, Stan,” Wendy answers albeit awkwardly, following him a good distance away from the set you, Lola and Red are on.

“You think he's gonna beg her to come back to him?” Lola asked. Red shrugged.

“Probably. That's how it usually goes, right (Y/N)...(Y/N)?” Your attention wasn't on Red, you were staring at the red haired boy who you had a fall out with, sitting alone looking depressed.

 

You see Wendy walk up to you, it was after school and your brother was hanging out with his girlfriend, who you still haven't met, and your mom was at work. You waved at her but for some reason Wendy looked nervous. Oh, what happened now? You rose an eyebrow as she came closer.

“Hello, (Y/N),” Wendy greeted, clearing her throat. You nodded back as a greeting.

“Look, I know this will sound weird but I need your help,” Wendy asks. You rose a brow but nodded along.

“As you know Kyle was voted last on the list for the cutest boy in class,” your eyes furrowed, already having an idea where this was heading.

“Stan asked if we could try and put the list up for discussion. Since you are the one who arranges what needs to be done on the meetings, can you fit a space for me to discuss about this?” Wendy requested. You immediately snaked your head.

“Look, (Y/N), this month hasn't been easy on you but maybe you can just move on?” Wendy asked. You purse your lips but declined again by shaking your head. You can tell Wendy was growing impatient.

“(Y/N), do this for me, not for them,” Wendy asked again. She was really persistent. You didn't get it though. Why does she care so much? You gave up and nodded as Wendy’s bright brown eyes lit up.

“Thanks, (Y/N)!” She gave you a quick side hug before trotting away to let Stan know about the news. You let out a sigh and continued to walk home.

You opened the wooden door of your house and glanced upwards and you saw your regular therapist sitting on the couch. She had a thin smile on her face once she saw you and you were stuck wondering if it was genuine or not.

“Hello, (Y/N), how are you?” She asked. You opened your mouth.

“Good,” you rasped out, coughing a bit. She patted your shoulder, sympathetically.

“No pressure, hon,” She reassured. She made you sat down next to her.

“How is everything in school?” She asked. You shrugged. She nodded warily, disappointment about the lack of communication. The door opened to reveal your brother, hand in hand with a girl with dark brown hair and shiney hazel eyes. You gaped. That is Clyde’s older sister! Your therapist noticed your astounded expression.

“Well, I better get going,” your therapist said simply and briskly walked past the couple. You were still blinking. Your brother rubbed his neck and Clyde’s sister looked a bit confused.

“Ah, well, I was supposed to introduce you to my girlfriend but you seem to know her already. I also forgot your therapist was visiting today,” your brother mumbled. Clyde’s sister stared at you till her eyes widened.

“Oh! I remember. Your Clyde’s friend who visited a few weeks ago. Well, I am his older sister, Rebecca” she shook your hand. You awkwardly nodded along.

“Well, I guess there isn't a need for an introduction,” Your brother said, running his fingers through his (h/c) hair. Rebecca let out a laugh.

“Your so awkward,” she playfully punched his shoulder. He laughed along. He wrapped an arm around her.

“Well, both of us are heading to my bedroom,” your brother announced, leading her away. You shrugged, deciding to text Bebe that another secret discussion will be held up. About ten minutes later you heard loud moans arise from upstairs. You grimaced. You had to send yourself a personal reminder to throw the bible at them. You decided to leave the house, simultaneously getting up and putting on your scarf and jacket that laid on the couch. You heard the sound of something hitting the wall and a scream. You put in your ear muffs and slipped on your boots, heading outside.

Once you had left the unclean scenario, you trudged through the snow, wondering if Clyde knew about this. Not like your were going to ask. You weren't talking to any of them. You walked down the road of South Park’s Main Street. You were looking down till you lifted your view upwards and the sight made you want to go back home. Kyle Broflovski stared at you with his hazel green eyes. You quickly pushed past him, deciding to go back home from behind Tom’s Rhinoplasty.

 

You closed the door and the house was quiet. You noticed that Rebecca’s shoes were gone so she must have left and your brother will be probably asleep. You headed to your room, closing the door and falling onto your bed. Your eyes drifted close as heavy eyelids fell over sunken (e/c) eyes. Tomorrow is going to be one heck of a day.

You, Red and Lola file into the room with the other girls. Today was meeting day. You took a seat next to Red. You see Stan and Wendy are already present, so is Bebe who is presiding. Stan’s blue eyes meet your (e/c) eyes but you ignore him.

“Today's list meeting is called to order. Rebecca, you have the floor,” Bebe announces. Red stands up.

“If it pleases and sparkles I suggest we continue deliberations on List 47D: Which Girl Has The Cutest Purse?” Red says.

“Rebecca moves we work on List 47D. Does that sparkle with all the girls?” Bebe asks. You nodded while all the girls yelled out ‘Sunshine!’ Red sits back down.

“Deliberating "Which Girl Has The Cutest Purse"? Millie has the floor,” Lola announces.

“If it pleases and sparkles, I would like to submit that Jennifer's purse is by far the cutest. Definitely cuter than Teresa's,” Mille states.

“I don't think anyone here disagrees that Jennifer's purse is cuter than Teresa's, but it doesn't make it the cutest,” Lilian, a blonde girl who you don't really talk to, argues.

“The committee has already decided that nothing with stripes can be in the Top 5 cutest purses,” Bebe reminded.

“Sunshine sparkle. Wendy has the floor,” Lola announces.

“If it pleases and sparkles, I would like to suggest that we…” Wendy glances at Stan.

“That we reopen last week's list for debate.”

A chorus of ‘What'd she say?’ and ‘She's gotta be kidding!’ filled the room.

“Is she crazy?” Heidi Turner questioned.

“All right, all right, come before the Rainbow Railing,” Bebe orders. Stan and Wendy make their way to the centre of the room or otherwise known as ‘the Rainbow Railing’.

“Go ahead,” Wendy reassures Stan. You sat back and watched.

“Aaah, I was just thinking that maybe you voted a little... hastily on the cutest boy?” Stan said.

“You thought you should be number one?” Red questioned, accusingly.

“No!” Stan yelled.

“Let me assure you that no list is made hastily by this committee!” Bebe states.

“He didn't mean that. He was just saying maybe we should open it up again for discussion,” Wendy backs up.

“I cannot by Sparkle Law move to have an old list investigated. However, if you can find recourse for such an inquiry, Wendy, I would review it. Does that sparkle with all the girls?” Bebe asks.

“Sunshine!” All the girls say in chorus, ending the meeting for this week. All the girls start leaving room, you about to join Lola till Wendy grabs your wrist.

“(Y/N), I need your help. I need more sources for this and I know you can provide me with them,” you glared at Wendy.

“Yes, I am thankful you got me into this meeting but, please, we need help,” Wendy asks again. Your eyes flicker from Wendy’s to Stan’s, who was shuffling his feet. You deflated but then nodded. Wendy sighed in relief.

“Thank you so much,” Wendy says. You simply wave her off and make your way outside to head home.

 

It was night time and you were at Wendy’s place alongside Stan. All three of you were in Wendy’s room. Stan rested on a beanbag chair while you were sitting on Wendy’s bed. The noirette herself was currently going through different files you had of the list, some files being stolen from Lola.

“Wait a minute. Wait, Stan, (Y/N), I think I've got something!” Wendy states. You both get up and head over to the brown eyed girl.

“Take a look at this: during final deliberation of the list for cutest boy, seven girls gave Clyde a glitter rating of only one sparkle!” Wendy explains. You nodded along while Stan looked confused.

“I have no idea what your talking about,” Stan says.

“It doesn't add up. It is possible that Rebecca made a mistake when she tallied the sunshine votes onto the final list,” Wendy continues. She and Stan stared at each other, smiling. You shuffled awkwardly. Sucks being a third wheel.

 

The next night a loud knock was sounded at your door. You sluggishly got of the couch and made your way to the door. You opened it with bored eyes to reveal Wendy and Stan, both out of breath. Wendy was desperately clutching a file to her chest. You stared, confused.

“Real. List. Kyle. Going to. Burn. The School,” Stan wheezed out. You gaped and snatched your jacket off the coat hanger and hurriedly slipped on your sneakers, running to the school alongside Wendy and Stan.

 

You, Stan and Wendy reach the roof to see Kyle toss out a gallon of light fluid.

“Kyle! Kyle, don't!” Stan yelled to the red head.

“Don't try and stop me, Stan! You don't know how it feels to be a deformed monstrosity!” Kyle argued. 

“The list was a forgery, Kyle!” Stan said.

“Huh?” Kyle yelped in confusion.

“It didn't sparkle with all the girls. We have the real list,” Stan said. All of you hear the sound of a gun being cocked. All of you turn to the direction of the gun. You stumbled at who was holding the gun.

Bebe Stevens.

“Stan, what is going on!” Kyle asked.

“It was about shoes, Kyle. The girls wanted shoes, so they set you up,” Stan explained. You stared at Wendy in surprise. You did not know anything about this. Mostly because you were away those last few Fridays with therapy.

“Kyle was simple a casualty! To move Clyde meant that Craig has to be moved to number twelve, which moved Jimmy down and moved Jason up!” Bebe said. You blinked. So Craig was the cutest guy in class?

“What number was I?” Kyle questioned.

“You've compromised everything! Our lists' integrity!” Wendy ignored Kyle.

“Did you see these shoes, Wendy?” Bebe pulls out a pair of shoes from the bag she was carrying.

“They're incredible!” Bebe states.

“It doesn't matter how incredible they are; you can't– Oh my God, those are amazing,” Wendy says, distracted. You smacked your forehead.

“Wendy!” Stan interrupts the two girls gushing over the pair of shoes.

“Oh, but it doesn't matter. You took it too far!” Wendy confronts.

“If you hadn't gone all Nancy Drew on us, this would have just gone away!” Bebe yells, cocking the gun again.

“Is she going to kill us?” Kyle asks. You couldn't help but roll your eyes. What was she going to do? Make flower crowns with us?

“It's too late, Bebe. I've already made a full report and sent a copy to the police. People will know,” Wendy says.

“Oh please, you're lying,” Bebe snorts. As soon as that was said, police sirens were heard from below.

“Give it up, Bebe. We know all about it. The list was compromised. Kyle Broflovski is not the ugliest boy in the class,” you heard a officer say through a bullhorn. Wendy takes the opportunity to wrestle Bebe for the gun, surprising you. Before you can pull the two away a gunshot was heard.

“Wendy!” Stan yelled. You couldn't help it. You let out a petrified scream. Funny, the first thing people heard you say in public for five years was actually a scream because one of your best friends died.

Wendy stumbles back as she notices the gun is in her left hand. Bebe held a pained expression till she noticed she was uninjured. Bebe and Wendy look around, wondering where the bullet went. All of you were wondering now.

 

Meanwhile in the McCormick residence, the family was having cereal...for dinner till a bullet crashed through the window, instantly zooming past a parka wearing blonde’s head and through his forehead. The family jumped back, blood splattering on them as the blonde’s head lolled forward into his bowl of cereal. The family stared at each other, fearfully.

 

“Wait, I, I didn't do anything wrong!” Bebe argued as the cops handcuffed her.

“You can explain all that downtown,” The officer says, taking Bebe away. Wendy was currently holding her shopping bag. You and Kyle stood next to each other.

“I– thanks for helping,” Kyle says. You nodded, not meeting his eye.

“I didn't know you can talk, I mean have a vocal cord,” Kyle says. You sigh, turning to the other cheek and walking away as Stan and Kyle stared sympathetically at your departing figure.


End file.
